I Need You
by xVanishedLullabys
Summary: 'Lets pretend that didn't happen'. When everything already feels like nothing how could you make it any worse? Lets start a war. {{ Itacest, vulgar language, war. }}
1. Prologue

Alright so a few things :)

This is just the prologue so don't worry your not supposed to understand what's going on~ its just supposed to hopefully get you interested ;) Please read the section at the end if you plan to stick with me through this fan fiction its all about my future plans.

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" Why...? " the deep voice cracked, feeling tears well in his already swelled eyes.

" Why? " He screeched this time, only to be answered by the resounding gunshots and the loud patter of rain.

The man fell onto his knees ignoring the protests his body screamed at him. He lifted his hands to his face, observing them. Crimson lined every crack. He bit his lip, holding back another cry before looking down at the horror before him. A horror his eyes wanted nothing but to avoid.

" Why... " he said once more, softly this time. Before him lay what seemed to be a pile of clothing and blood. Only, it was more than that. He reached down to the stiff figure pulling it close to his bandaged chest. There was still warmth left. Very little warmth, but enough to assure him of life.

He lifted his eyes slowly to another man, this one muscular, who was standing above him. A few salty drops escaped his eyes. He felt himself trembling as the despair mixed with his fury.

" No one ever said I was a good guy. " he watched the man's lips move as the words came out almost being drowned out by a harsh crack of thunder. The man was smiling. A wicked smile. His eyes narrowed before steadily easing the body in his arms down.

He smiled. Not a sweet smile. Not a loving smile. Not even a vengeful smile. It was a smile that would send any normal person running. A weak laugh followed it as he slipped his stiff hand into his pocket. His sanity was leaving him.

The second man did not flinch. He didn't even move, he just watched as a small pistol was revealed from his blood stained jacket.

" If you say that then your just asking for it! " His once bright eyes were now dulled and almost tinted the same color as the scarlet blood that surrounded him. He lifted his head laughing in the most pitiful of ways, tilting his head to the point that it looked as if it should have fallen off and rolled across the dirt below him.

" Like you could do it! " the second man countered, smile widening. Once again there was a loud pitiful laugh.

" Just watch me! " He gripped the gun tighter, tight enough to reopen a few of the cuts on his hands. The pain it caused went unnoticed.

" This is for him. " A cry split the thick air.

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I hope you liked it :) Okay so plans for this story~

First thing you should know is I plan to make this one fairly long with at least 1,500 word chapters so I hope you'll stick with me despite this :(

I've already written out the full summary so writers block shouldn't be too problematic my goal is to get one chapter up every two weeks ;D

This will be a three part story,

Part 1: Two Separate Halves.

Part 2: Nightmares and Dreams.

Part 3: Fall.

Part 1 is from Feliciano (Italy)'s point of view :) Part 2 is from Lovino (Romano)'s point of view and part 3 is a little weird because POV will change each chapter :) The first chapter of part 3 is from Feliciano's POV so the next chapter will be Lovino's POV and that cycle will just repeat until about 6 chapters in where its just Lovino's POV from then until the end ( Sorry about the weirdness I hope you can understand this ;w; ) I'll make sure to note who's point of view it is when it starts.

This story is going to be fairly dramatic but don't worry I'll throw in plenty of fluff for you guys and a lemon will also be thrown in the future chapters ;) If you don't want to read the lemon don't worry I'll warn you and put marks so you can skip over it once it starts.

A few warnings; this has some mature themes to it such as child abuse, war, and death.

It will start of slow so no real itacest until the later chapters, still I hope you will read it and enjoy it ^^

Thank you for reading this far if you did :D

- Mina

Reviews would be very appreciated :)


	2. Part 1: Separate

First chapter yay :D

The first little bit is kind of an introduction to the characters and their personalities and how I decided to ease into the theme of the story.

I hope you guys understand the idea enough from the information I gave you in the prologue that this will make sense~ If you have any questions or feel as if I'm leaving things out please just so say and I'll make sure to clear things up in the next chapter ;)

**Note; Italics are thoughts.**

* * *

The ceiling above felt vaster the longer he had stared at it. Scrunching up his eyes he huffed in boredom and frustration.

"What happened to that idiot fratello of mine?" The eldest brother had begun to lose his patience and was biting his lip. Hard. So hard it drew a small speck of liquid crimson.

" Hnngg," he growled in frustration. His younger brother, Feliciano, still had yet to bring over his new supply of his precious tomatoes.

Lovino was not a man of patience. His brother was an hour late now.

A small hesitant knock came at his door. Lovino stood, pushing his plush red couch back with the force.

He opened the door with quick motion, almost sending it flying of its hinges.

"C-ciao fratello..." Feliciano whispered hesitantly, shielding his face with the small box of tomatoes he held.

" What took you so long? " Lovino barked at his younger sibling earning a small squeak of fear.

" W-well I... please don't hurt me! " he whimpered closing his eyes in anticipation.

" Stupid! I won't hurt you if you just give me the damn tomatoes! " he cussed grabbing the box from the smaller man.

Lovino, well not muscular, wasn't a twig. He was a mix of a weak, slender boy and the slightly built average man. Feliciano on the other hand had arms the equivalent of a stand of hair. Delicate. Fragile.

Lovino readied himself to slam the door on his loving half when Feliciano slipped past him and into his comfortable home.

Familiar. Safe. That's how the older brother's house felt to the younger.

_Don't get to comfortable._

Feliciano told himself knowing he was soon going to be sent out the door.

_Don't..._

He trailed off finding a new object in the house perking his interest.

" Is that a violin? Fratello plays? " Feliciano asked truly interested. He loved music. He was Italian after all!

" No! It was a stupid present from that stupid Spaniard. "

_oh..._

" _You should learn a musical instrument Lovi!_ Yeah right! I'll probably just be trashing it. " Lovino mocked.

" You should try learning! " Feliciano smiled happily running up to the instrument and looking at its delicate features. Meanwhile Lovino set the tomato box into his nearly empty fridge smiling when he thought of dinner.

" Fratello? " A melodic voice interrupted his thoughts again.

" What? " He snarled staring the boy down as if he had committed a real sin not such a small thing as breaking through his tomato filled thoughts.

Feliciano flinched back and closed his mouth frightened by his brother's acid filled voice.

_I see... I didn't have anything to say anyways..._

" C-can I try playing it then? before you trash it at least. " he came up with this on the spot.

" Whatever. " Lovino huffed uninterested.

Feliciano picked up the delicate instrument surprised by how light it was. He traced his finger down one of the small carvings of a flower on it. Spain made this. Just for Lovino. It was obvious to Feliciano. Why had he made it? For love.

Lovino ignored his brother's presence and left the room to go do some of the mafia work that needed to be done. Since Feliciano refused to take part in such things it was all left to him.

_Ah... well he left I might as well leave as well._

Feliciano put the small instrument lightly against the wall and strolled out the still slightly open door that had been forgotten in the midst of the tomatoes. It was raining that Thursday but only sprinkling so Feliciano didn't mind walking in it.

_Time to go home._

He tried to think happily to himself but the fact was there was a hole his brother always left him with. Lovino. He never visited. He never let him visit. He never called. He never talked. He never messaged. He never acknowledged his own brother's existence past his demand for Tomatoes when his supply became short. Lovino was a loner. Feliciano. He was hopelessly loyal. He loved everyone despite what they did or said. He only aimed for others happiness. He smiled on all circumstances. Always Happy. Feliciano was the exact opposite of his brother, they were two very separate halves.

* * *

**Part 1: Two Separate Halves.**

( Note right here is where we start Feliciano's point of view c: )

" Ciao! " I forced a large smile upon my face when the door revealed his hazel eyes.

" Yes? " His face mirrored anger but his voice let out delight. I chose to focus on delight.

" I came to visit Fratello Romano! " I titled my head to the side as I said this as if it confirmed the fact.

" Go away. " Lovino began to close the door on me but I shoved my foot in the crook of the door stopping him.

" Come on, please~! " I begged keeping the sweetness in my voice to make it more convincing.

" No! " he tried to close the door despite my foot sending waves of pain through my nerves as the door repeatedly slammed against me.

" Fratello! " I whined, wincing slightly.

" Fine. " he huffed letting go of the door and allowing me in. I instead took this opportunity to spring up, slinging my arms around his neck.

" What are you doing? " He jerked back attempting to force me away from him. I resisted as best as I could.

" I love fratello so I wanted to give him a hug. " I pouted into his hair still forcibly attached to him. I was answered by silence

_I never expected you to love me back anyways..._

I hugged a little tighter looking for at least some sort of response. I got one, not one I would have liked, but I did at least get one. An elbow had been driven into my stomach sending me back and leaving Lovino with just what he wanted, freedom from me.

I let a soft mewl of pain escape my lips feeling the slight ache he had left.

" Keep your hands to yourself! " He barked, vexation clear on his face.

" But fratello- "

" Shut up! " I was nudged back outside by his foot. I heard the squeak of the door being secured shut behind me.

_Why do you hate me? How have I wronged you?_

I stood and wiped some of the dirt from my uniform.

_What have I ever done to you?_

I proceeded to the driveway to get into my car.

_Why are you so miserable?_

I fastened the seat belt around myself and slid the key into the ignition.

_Was I really the one who's brought you to your current state?_

I steadily drove out of the turn around and down the road towards my home.

_I don't understand. Why do you treat me this way?_

I gritted my teeth slightly

_Maybe... maybe I should just show you how it feels. Just once, just to prove to you it doesn't have to be this way._

I must have been speeding beyond belief because I was already almost home.

_From now on, you don't exist to me. That is my final decision._

I smile grew on my lips.

_This could really work if I go through with it._ _Finally we could be real brothers._

I was already home. I eased myself out of the car shutting the door noisily behind me.

I stepped inside placing my key on the kitchen counter before going straight to my bedroom.

_First draw on the left._

I told myself as I approached my old wooden desk. Inside were what felt like a million documents each one specifying a situation our country was or had been in. I searched for one document in specific. I had shuffled through about forty papers before I found it in what was around the middle of the massive pile.

_Transition of Romano to Spain._

Yes, it was the right document. I had mostly wanted it out of curiosity of the terms since I had never been informed as a child. Austria was a very " Keep to yourself " kind of person and did not appreciate a child like me attempting to interfere in his business affairs, and yes he viewed Romano as a business affair. My memory of living with Romano was very brief since it had really only been the first week in Austria's house that we were together.

Before then I had spent all my time traveling with Grandpa Rome. I had tried to convince Romano to travel with us but it seemed he had refused whenever Grandpa Rome offered him.

_I wish we could have spent more time together._

We probably would have been much closer if it weren't for this fact. Romano always spent most of his time alone. When Grandpa Rome and I were home he would normally spend his time hidden in his room or locked away in the supply closet. I never did know what he did in there but he was in there so often he must have enjoyed it.

_Why did he always put himself alone...?_

Later on I got to visit him every now and then at Spain's house but the longer he was with Spain the more separate he became from me.

_Are all brothers like this?_

When I did visit, Spain also used to take Lovino away a lot. They would leave the room quite often just to do small tasks and take extended periods of time to finish the small task.

_They are in love, no?_

I heard France's voice in my mind. I shook the thought from my head.

_Love...?_

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There is chapter one for you ;) I hope you enjoyed it I'll try and write the next chapter as soon as possible~

Thank you for reading this far :D

- Mina

Please Review I would be very happy if you did. :) 3


	3. Running up

**Soooo this is where the story really starts ;) I promise that it gets much much better now.**

**The last chapter I sucked, I know. ;; I'm bad at starting off stories but I hope I can make up for it.**

**This chapter is more the length of what I want all the chapters to be so yeah xD btw I will be using some characters that are not in the anime such as Taiwan, Korea, Scotland, ect. **

**~ = Time skip**

**WARNING; Swearing and violence oh yes and a little yandere Italy ;)**

**EDIT; Thank you so much BlackandBlueHeart441 for pointing out my mistake of using da instead of ja ;w; 3  
**

**Chapter 2: Running up.**

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The warm light of morning filtered through my closed eyelids awakening me from my peaceful slumber. I sat up slowly, yawning continuously in the process of coaxing myself out of bed. I glanced towards my desk, spotting the paper I had skipped over reading last night. I had decided I didn't need to know and had gone straight to bed instead.

Today would be the day I began my plan. My plan to ignore Lovino until he showed me more notice.

I had to mess with my morning plan a little, skipping over my normal call to my brother to make sure he was awake. I lazily made my way to the bathroom to take a shower and prepare myself for the day.

I slept without clothing so all I had to do was slip into the shower. I took a little longer than needed thinking about what to do for the day and just enjoying the warmth of the water.

I had decided today I would visit my best friend, Germany. I had once tried calling him by his casual name, Ludwig, but he refused to let me. It was something about the informality being uncomfortable for him.

I decided since I didn't have any country duties today I would wear some of my underused casual clothing. I slipped into a simple white button up shirt and some black shorts that just barley reached my knees. I wasn't used to the lightness of the outfit, normally I have to wear my military uniform which is fairly thick.

I realized I hadn't called Germany yet to tell him I was visiting so I decided to make it a surprise visit. I grabbed my keys off the kitchen counter and slipped into my awaiting car.

_I wonder what Lovino's doing right now..._

I shook my head at the thought. I needed to focus on forgetting about him so I could ignore him as best as possible.

I knew in the back of my mind I wouldn't be able to completely rid my thoughts of him.

_He is my brother after all._

I sighed realizing I was once again speeding beyond belief. Call it whatever you want but I couldn't resist the urge to press the gas pedal.

About two or three hours later I had arrived at Germany's house **( It takes countries less time to travel than normal people ).**

My ride over had been a complete disaster with almost every other thought consisting of something related to my brother. I was pondering what kind of dog I had just seen a women walking on the side of the road and I had somehow connected that back to Lovino. This was going to be a hard task.

I escaped my car and ran up to Germany's door.

" Germany! " I called, knocking on the door continuously.

I almost fell over when the door suddenly opened and revealed the man I had been awaiting for only a few moments. His hair was not pasted back into it's normal place instead it laid naturally against his face, his aqua eyes had dark circles underneath them and he was still in what I assumed were his pajama's.

He glared at me slightly before letting out a sigh that seemed to be of relief, his face instantly softening.

" Ja, Ja, what do you want? " The slight heaviness in his voice confused me.

" I Came to visit Germany~ Ve~ " I cooed happily closing my eyes to show him the me he normally saw. This me was mainly an act but I felt happy doing it and well it made others happy so what was wrong with that?

" Not today Italy. " He began to close the door on me.

" Why not? " I wasn't sure what I'd do if I didn't spend the day with Germany, no country duties and no Romano meant I had nothing to do.

" Just... leave please? I have a lot on my shoulders right now. " I pouted slightly, upset that I wasn't able to stay.

" Just an hour? Please~ " I tried to keep my voice sweet and fluffed greatly with a heavy Italian accent but I was starting to lose it from the pressure of being alone.

" No. " He said sternly glancing my way for only a moment. Although his voice was stern his face wavered letting me know I had a chance to win this.

" Germany... " I sniffed, opening my eyes partially and looking towards the ground. I could tell he was about to give in when he sighed heavily.

" No! " He closed the door on me.

_What.. but... I thought..._

What else was there to do? I didn't have many friends, really, I only had Germany and Japan. Canada was a slight friend of mine but he didn't contact me much and refused to spend extended periods of time with me due to his position on the allied side although I knew the allies wouldn't care considering how often they forgot he even existed.

I then let my facade go, opening my eyes completely and letting the smile drift of my face. I decided upon calling Kiku up, knowing I couldn't show up unannounced with him.

" Hello? " Came a heavily accented voice from the other end.

" Ve~ Is Japan free? " I asked, masking my voice with a heavy accent as well.

" No, I am sorry today is no free day. " He responded slightly hesitantly knowing it would disappoint me.

" That's okay ve~ " I answered before hanging the phone up and angrily throwing the object at the ground.

_What am I going to do now...?_

I grunted a little and picked up my phone and slipping it into my pocket, walking towards my car. I decided I would at least try Canada. I had once tried calling him Matthew but he just was so happy about it, it got awkward...

I didn't turn the car on I only took my slightly dirty phone back out and called the man.

_ring..._

_ring..._

_ring..._

_ring..._

" E-eh... Is it recording? "

" Yes stupid! "

There was a loud bang and a whine.

" Ow... y-you have reached Canada how bout leaving a message...? If you want to... "

" Dude~ that message is to- "

_Beeeep_

" Hello Canada! It's Italy ve~ Could we hang sometime soon? Call me back~! " I then pressed the red button and put the small blue phone on the seat next to me.

_Am I the only one without plans...?_

I shook my head for a moment, starting the car up.

_No I bet Lovi doesn't have plans but... that's not an option._

I sighed, resting my head on the steering wheel and staring at the floor.

_I miss him already..._

I picked myself up and started driving back home. It felt as if it had only been a few minutes when I arrived at my house. I sat there a few moments just staring at the blue phone that had ended up back in my hands. I chewed at my lip slightly pondering what to do when I saw a car drive up the driveway and into the parking spot beside me.

It was the mailman. I got out of the car quickly to save him the trouble of walking to my door.

" Hello. " I greeted startling the man enough to send him dropping all the mail in his hands.

" I'm so sorry! " He apologized briskly picking up the letters.

" It's okay ve~ " I sweetened my voice and smiled brightly at the man to calm him. He smiled back and handed me the letters he had just picked up.

I gladly took them and began to shift through them as the man apologized once more and made his leave. I stopped at the only one that was not a letter from my boss or some sort of bill that needed to be paid.

'**From: The Hero Alfred.'**

It read in large, messily written, bold letters on the front of the envelope. I ripped through the top of it and took out the small folded up letter that smelled of hamburgers.

I scrunched my nose up slightly in disgust as the scent hit me and I spotted a grease stain at the bottom left corner of the letter. He was far from being an elegant country, that's for sure. I unfolded it, opening the cream colored paper to read the words written across it.

_Dear Italy,_

_Yo man! June fourth, that's our next world meeting! It's at 2 pm sharp in Paris this time. Francis insisted we stay at his place. Maybe next time we can do it in America! That's a much better place to meet than France, you must totally agree!_

_Anyways happy traveling. ( Canada said I should say that because its polite, what a prick, am I right? ) _

You and that tomato obsessed brother of yours are to sit at the end of the table where you usually sit, Don't forget to bring the documents needed!

See ya dude~ :)

I sighed as I refolded the note and headed into my house. I had forgotten about the world meeting coming up, it was now only two days away as well. I had already been told the location and time, I know Alfred was just trying to remind me but it's not like I forget that easily. At least I didn't need to plan out distractions for the week anymore.

_I'll have to sit next to fratello..._

I wasn't sure exactly how well ignoring him would go with him right there next to me. I felt my mind begin to rush as it truly set in **only two more days.** I didn't have much time to think about it, I had to start packing or else I wouldn't even make it to the meeting relatively on time.

I ran up to my room, throwing my closet open and grabbing the suitcase from the far right corner of it. I began to throw every piece of clothing in sight into it. I was hopping around my room like crazy, frantically piling things into the bag.

_I can't believe I seriously forgot about this meeting..._

I felt as though I was losing my mind, I had been lucky the plane tickets were already paid for and set by me about two weeks before. The plane was to leave in another two hours and I knew I was short on time.

I had made it. I was standing outside the airport, huffing for air, the way I had to run out of the parking garage as not to miss my flight that was going to arrive in fifteen minutes had left me breathless and sticky with a thin layer of sweat.

I hurriedly made my way inside, taking care of everything that needed to be done with lightening speed. Only minutes later I was on my plane, safe and sound.

I could finally breathe a sigh of relief knowing I wasn't going to miss the meeting and now all I needed to do was enjoy the ride until we arrived.

I don't know exactly when I had fallen asleep and how I had managed to sleep so long but next thing I knew the intercom was booming and telling me to fasten my seat belt. I lazily brought my head up to grab the object and hook it in, wanting nothing but to fall back into my comfortable dreamless slumber.

I shuffled out of the plane and was soon waiting to grab my single suitcase off the spinning belt full of bags. I spotted the black leather of it right away, grabbing it I quickly walked out the door. Paris was one busy place.

" Taxi! " I waved my hand about, instantly one was there.

_Very busy._

I told the taxi driver the address of the hotel I would be staying at when something came to mind. All of the countries picked one hotel that they would rent out to stay in so that meant everyone else would be there as well.

_What a fantastic way to stay distracted!_

I hummed slightly to myself and smiled a little realizing this trip could be just what I needed. The hotel turned out to be quite close to the airport so it only took a few minutes before I was there, it made the cost of the taxi cheap as well so I was pleased. I grabbed my suitcase and made my way inside, stopping quickly at the front desk to check in and be given my room key.

I was on the fifth floor, only one floor from the very top. Perfect. I enjoyed being high up the view was always so beautiful on the higher floors. I was sure my view of Paris would be beautiful.

I entered the room, carefully setting my suitcase against the dark cherry walls. The room was fairly wide open with one king sized bed and a small living room type area with a t.v and a wide couch. I had a balcony and a large bathroom as well. I instantly was drawn towards the balcony, amazed by the beautiful placement of my room. I could even see the Eiffel Tower.

_This could actually be fun!_

I decided to go downstairs and see what other countries were there. It had turned out the only ones to arrive so far were France, well, because he lived there and America, because he was running the meeting.

"Who else is coming ve~? " I questioned the other two, every time certain countries would drop out of world meetings but a majority attended so it didn't normally matter.

"Well let's see, un instant s'il vous plaît. " Francis reached for a thin booklet lying on the table next to where the three of us were sitting.

"Looks like everyone except for Poland, who usually doesn't attend, he's such a lazy boy, and Germany, he said he had serious business to take care. " He then closed the booklet and looked towards me.

"Your friends with Germany correct? You could just inform him of anything important afterwards. " Francis gave me light smile. I knew what he meant by that is 'I'm scared do it for me'

"Ve... " I wasn't sure if he would want to talk to me or if I would want to to talk to _him_. I was still a little upset about being kicked out the day before hand. That night a number of countries arrived, I only personally knew a few, those people being Belgium, Spain, and Japan.

Spain and Japan both made small talk with me, Spain mostly just praising me and Japan mostly just listening to me as I rambled on. Belgium and everyone else mainly just greeted me with a kind hello as they passed me in the hallways or sat by me in the lobby.

It was the day of the meeting now, the only people left to wait for were Austria, Miss. Hungary, Taiwan, Canada, Russia, who normally showed up a little late, and Romano. Lovino was almost always just barley there on time, he was just as forgetful as me.

Time passed quickly, so much had being going on with the arrival of everyone else and the planning that time passed in a flash. Lovino had only made it to Paris an hour before the meeting was to start. As it turned out neither Austria or showed up, both having had canceled a few hours before.

"Yo dudes you ready? " Alfred called trying to calm the room of people. The meeting was just starting, I took my seat being careful not to so much as glance towards the person who was close beside me. I had avoided sitting down until then, feeling nervous about being so close to _him_.

"First thing is first, whatever we do, I'm the hero! " Alfred shouted, grinning widely and giving us all the thumbs up. I looked towards the floor steading my gaze away from Lovino.

"You prat, do your job and be serious we have _actual _important matters to take care of. " Arthur began to bicker with him.

" Dude~ I am serious, I'm the hero! " A small shiver ran up my spine when I heard Lovino snort at the comment Alfred had just made.

" No you certainty aren't! " Alfred only rolled his eyes in return.

" If it wasn't for your utter nonsense and idiocy we would be able to avoid a lot of situations! All you do is prance around like a wally! " Arthur continued on.

" Does that mean that you could take me if I'm so stupid? " Alfred challenged. I stiffened slightly when I heard Lovino shifting in his seat.

" Of course I could! " Arthur stood up but Francis quickly cut in,

" My, my, calm down you two, I'll lead the meeting if you don't behave yourselves! " This was meant to be threatening but it came out more like a plead. Francis was trying to prevent what usually happened at these meetings from happening. Normally these meetings ended in chaos, with yelling and fighting coming from every direction.

" Why don't you just back off you perverted git! " Arthur challenged

Soon enough the two fighting men turned to three fighting men as France joined the fight, then four, then six. Now was normally the time Germany would jump in and calm them all. I heard more and more seats shifting and the yelling accelerate quickly, far to quickly for comfort.

Soon enough even Lovino stood and joined in after Prussia had fallen into him, pushing him over. I stayed quietly in my seat, I was pretty much the only one not yelling at someone other than the few always calm people such as Kiku.

" H-hey no more fighting! " A soft voice tried to quell the vast group. I looked towards the noise to see Canada attempting to push himself between America and Britain, he was promptly ignored as they continued on with their fight.

" Dude! What do you mean 'better fighting styles' that is bull! America always wins! Look at this shit~ " Alfred then pulled out something unexpected, a gun, a pistol to be exact.

" Put that away you dolt you could hurt someone! " Arthur tried to reach for the gun to take it away but Alfred was playing keep away with it now.

" It's mine dude, I know you want it since its so advanced and stuff but you can't- " A gunshot and a cry cut through all the noise, silencing everyone in the room. I was frozen in my seat.

" Y-you! " England jumped back and covered his mouth in shock. I began to tremble.

" Baka! Stop being so irresponsible! " Kiku suddenly stood from his seat, using his voice for the first time in the entire meeting. I began to lift my hands to my mouth, a sudden shiver running through my spine causing me to arch forward slightly.

" It's not called irresponsible its called an accident! " Alfred fought back. Salty droplets rolled down my once dry cheeks.

" I don't care if it was an accident, someone was hurt because of your carelessness! " Kiku wasn't backing down. A lump formed in my throat and I bolted from my seat causing the seat to fall backwards with a crash.

I threw my hands onto my ears and began to shake my head, trying to clear my mind and stop a cry from erupting from my dry throat. The room was silent and everyone was staring at me as I stood there shaking in what could only be described as terror. I stumbled towards the bleeding body lying on the floor, losing my balance as the intense trembling increased.

I fell to my knees instantly and tried to focus through my tears to see the face of the victim. I didn't like blood, not one bit, it made me sick to my stomach.

" Canada? " I cried softly, pushing at his side a little. No response.

" Canada? " I cried more desperately this time. Soon enough the argument against Alfred resumed, I felt the weight on my chest double.

" You fool, at least take responsibility! " Arthur scolded. I dropped my head, using my bangs to cover my eyes from sight. I bit down on my lip, feeling a burning frustration rise in my chest.

" I never said I wouldn't take responsibility! " I felt as if something had just cracked.

" Shut up all of you! " I screeched, lifting my face and glaring towards anyone who happened to be unfortunate enough to meet my gaze. Silence soon struck the room once more, all fighting had ceased at my out burst. My tears had yet to halt but my voice stayed strong, I didn't waver.

" When someone is hurt you don't fucking fight! You help them! Are you all that fucking stupid? " I growled completely letting go of the idea of acting sweet and innocent.

" Someone call 911! Don't just gawk at the body like fucking idiots! " My teeth dug further into my lip, hard enough to draw a speck of blood, the frustration only gathering into a tight ball rather than vanishing. Still no one moved they only stared at me in shock.

I sighed knowing they weren't going to snap out of it anytime soon, I reached into my pocket looking for my cellphone but couldn't seem to identify it.

_Crap..._

I realized I had left it on the car seat when I had gotten out to get the mail. I mentally slapped myself before turning to the crowd of statues surrounding me.

" I don't have my cellphone so one of you idiots needs to call. " The bitterness kept in my voice, I was unable to dispose of it like I normally could.

" Sorry- " Alfred began but I cut him off.

" Don't just say your sorry do something about it! Call an ambulance you son of a- " I knew that the yelling was becoming excessive but I didn't care the anger had just become so strong I just wanted to let it all out. Alfred seemed taken aback but he quickly took out his phone and called. I let the silence sink in as the room lost all life, awaiting the ambulance.

Medical personal came in and took Canada out of the room yet the silence stayed. I had sat back down in my seat now and the fighting was already resuming, I huffed in frustration. I decided upon going back up to my beautiful room to calm down and swiftly left the room, trying my best to go unnoticed, but the fact was many people were still gaping at me since my out burst.

We had been on the first floor of the hotel so I had to take the elevator in order to reach my room. No one had followed me it seemed but a few countries had already left the meeting before I had. I was careful to avoid anyone who happened to pass me in the halls although I had no real reason to be, I was scared of what they thought.

I swiftly unlocked the door, I suddenly felt the need to run in, I resisted, although I couldn't seem to quell my urge to slam the door as quickly as possible once I was in. Immediately after entering my room the pressure in my chest tripled and I slid to the floor, fresh tears running out of my eyes. I choked back a sob escaping from my tight throat.

I had no explanation as to why I felt so distressed. My cries unintentionally grew louder and soon enough I was full out sobbing. I wasn't sure how long I had sat there, leaning against the door, bawling my eyes out but soon enough the sun that had seemed to have been out far too long was setting. I pulled myself up, not particularly feeling any better.

I felt the growls from my empty stomach as I realized I didn't have any food around and called room service. My day only worsened when I was informed that temporarily room service was down due to a costumer who had bought everything they had, my guess was it was Alfred but I didn't say anything except a polite 'it's okay' and hung up.

I didn't want to leave the room, still dreading the thought of seeing anyone, but I had no other choice if I was going to have dinner.

I decided after much thought to go to the Italian restaurant down that was only a few blocks away, yes Italian, I really wanted some comfort food. I left the room with extreme caution, I probably looked suspicious the way I was sneaking through the halls and peaking around ever corner slowly before inching down the walls.

Once I had made it out of the hotel I began to walk normally. The streets were overflowing with people making moving quite difficult. After I had made it down about two blocks someone had run into me pushing me over to the ground, of course I was ignored as they ran on past. That didn't really help with the anger I had piled up still. The restaurant only took about a half an hour to locate, a restaurant that would normally take five minutes to locate.

I felt my stomach growl the moment I had entered the place, the comforting smell of home wafting towards me. The restaurant was fairly empty and the waitress serving me was extremely friendly, still the stress and anger stayed pinned up in my chest. Getting back to the hotel took twice as long as it had taken to get away from it. I felt relief when I was finally out of the crowd and in the almost completely empty hotel.

I was just as careful in the halls as before only this time someone did pass, a janitor, who I believe followed me around for a while after seeing me crawling on my hands and knees, who could blame her?

I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached my door, I slid the key in carefully and opened the slightly squeaky door quickly. The room was pitch black save for the light of the moon shining from the balcony placed at the end of the beautiful room. I flicked the lights on only to instantly wish I hadn't.

"Yah! " I cried out, jumping back in surprise, dropping the key I had just been holding tightly in my hand.

"No need to scream, I'm not a rapist. " He titled his head to side, giving me a look before standing up and sighing. When I made no comment back he glared slightly at me.

"What? I'm not! " He yelled this time, causing just as much noise as my scream likely had. I had to try my best to not forget what I was doing.

"How did you get in? " I attempted to make my voice cold but instead it sounded like a whimper from a kicked puppy.

"Oh, well, easily! " He grinned slightly, to himself I assumed.

"I just walked up to the front desk said I was you and claimed to have lost my key, they believed it right away. " I wasn't sure why he was even there. There was a slight silence before he jumped to the point.

"As your brother I came to ask you... " He seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"What exactly happened back there? You know during the meeting... " I wasn't sure why he would ask it wasn't like he cared, right?

"Oh nothing ve~ " I remembered the facade I needed to keep up. I picked the key up and set it on the small coffee table. I turned around only to be met by an intense glare.

"Don't lie. " He replied coldly.

"I'm sorry fratello but I've got to go shower ve~ " I gave him the best possible imitation of a smile I could muster up.

"I'll wait here then. " He then sat down on the couch and turned on the flatscreen t.v. I sighed and left for the bathroom, not bothering to grab anything knowing it wouldn't make a difference to him if I came out naked afterwards.

I had accidentally let go of a little more of my anger and slammed the door shut once I had entered. I turned the water on quickly to mask the noise I made when I kicked the closet door with as much force as I could get into a single kick. I quickly stripped and climbed in after that, enjoying the refreshing heat of the water. It wasn't long before my calm was interrupted though by a light knock on the door.

"Si? " I answered with a voice so sweet it even sickened me slightly.

"Do you have any aspirins? I have a killer headache. " Lovino opened the door slightly.

"Yup, in my suitcase, top left pocket on the outside. " The door then closed and I returned to relaxing under the stream of water. I got out about fifteen minutes later, quickly wrapping a towel around myself I opened the door to get some clothing. Lovino had somehow traveled from the couch to the bed and was shuffling through a book I had brought. He didn't seem to be reading it, just looking at it for some odd reason.

"Done? " He asked a question with an obvious answer.

"Mm. " Was my answer. I was now rummaging through the selections of random clothing I had brought, I decided upon boxers and an over sized shirt.

Lovino had put the book down and was staring me down.

"Si? " I questioned with a wide smile to lighten the mood.

"I'll ask again, _what happened earlier_? " For some reason this question sounded more like a threat against my life.

"I told you i was nothing ve~ " I lied though my teeth.

"Fine then. If you won't tell me now I'm just going to have to stay here until you do. " Lovino stood up, brushing past me before collapsing on the tiny eggshell couch, one he could barley fit on.

"Ve~ Fratello does that mean your staying the night? " I couldn't help the sudden delight that arose within me, making me want to jump up and down like a child about to go to Disney World.

"Si. " He glared at me tiredly before allowing his heavy lids to cover his glowing emerald eyes, his lashes were so long that with his eyes close he almost looked like a sleeping infant.

"Fratello is always welcome to join me~" I hummed before climbing into the oversized bed and scrunching up in a ball to sleep. The anger had vanished as suddenly as it had originally came, something about having Romano just being close calmed me.

"Buonanotte idiota... " I hadn't even noticed his presence next to me until that moment, I turned, beaming despite just being called an idiot.

_It's 'I love you' in Romano language!_

I had always told myself that because he definitely didn't mean hate by it.

"Buonanotte amore! " He seemed a little taken aback by my chose of words but he obviously accepted it. I caught a small rise of the corner of his mouth moments later, it only lasted a second but I knew I hadn't imagined it.

I groaned, rolling over enough to see the white ceiling above me I groaned once more. I had been hoping to sleep at least a little longer but it looked as if that wasn't going to happen. I carefully slid out of bed trying not to wake the silently sleeping man beside me.

"Veneziano... " He whined, reaching his fists up to his eyes and rubbing the sleep lazily from them.

"Sorry to wake you. " I apologized sheepishly, standing up the rest of the way.

"Bastardo... " His voice was thick and there was no real bite to his words, it was more like the sound of a child whining after having been rejected of the item they had wanted oh so much.

I made me way to the small couch deciding upon watching the news. It was only around seven in the morning, I was a early riser. Lovino on the other hand was not.

The weather predicted sun the next couple days suddenly I didn't want to go home. I felt my stomach grumble only a few moments later when the news had turned to some tragic story of a man falling off a bridge.

"Fratello~ How about we go get some breakfast? " I didn't add extra sweetness to the words instead I kept my tone honest. He rolled over and groaned into the plush pillow.

"Fine. " I gave a small giggle in delight that he had agreed and I wouldn't have to eat alone, somehow I was still a little scared to run into any of the others. I went to my bag and began to change into more appropriate clothing, in this case a nice suit. Something then came to mind,

"You don't have any cloths here, do you? " I questioned Lovino as he sat up, his hair was ruffled everywhere and his expression was blank.

"No, I just have to go back to my room real quick is all. " He yawned between the words, stretching his arms out to what seemed like impossible lengths. I had only just then realized he was only in boxers, his cloths dispatched across the shiny wooden floors beneath the bed.

"Ve... " Somehow the sound slipped from my mouth, sounding almost sorrowful.

"What? " His eyes opening a little more as he slid onto the floor, straightening his back out quickly.

"Nothing? " It came out sounding more like a question in itself than an answer. He seemed to brush it off as he stumbled for the door, opening it with a quick force.

"Are you going to get your cloths? " I titled my head slightly for emphasis.

"Yup. " With that he closed the door, leaving me alone in the luxury hotel room. I sighed and finished dressing myself. As I made my way out into the hall, loosing the patience to wait any longer due to the frantic rumbling coming from my stomach. I accidentally ran into someone.

" Chu... " I rubbed my sore forehead looking up at the victim of my carelessness.

"Sorry fratello... " He was still standing somehow making him look a million stories taller than myself.

"Get up, I'm hungry. " He didn't scold me for some reason, I decided he had forgiven me.

"Me too~ " I smiled up at him and stood up, trailing not far behind him.

"Where should we eat? " I tried to imagine what kind of places would be best but it was just such a big city there was no way of knowing without looking it up.

"Let's just wander until we find something. " He left it at that. I smiled.

"Sounds good to me! "

It was quite the improvement from yesterday. Only then did I realize I had just given up completely on ignoring Lovino. It was an impossible task for me to follow through with, this was the closet I had ever been to him how could I reject it?

* * *

**I hope this chapter was good enough for you guys :) **

**This is what you guys should expect from now on~ This is just the beginning though, the next chapter is all from Feli's point of view and after that we switch to part 2 which is Lovi's POV.**

**Just so you guys don't leave me here is a sneak peak of the next chapter ( I will try and have it up two weeks from now )**

* * *

"Ve fratello? " I asked awkwardly, attempting to end the uncomfortable silence that filled the air.

"Yes? " He somehow almost sounded as if he had been punched in the stomach, out of breath and in pain.

"Do you remember Grandpa Rome? " I tried using memories as a way to lighten the mood, I had made the wrong decision. My words were met by pure silence.

"Like how he used to make us pasta with that special cheese on top and tuck as in at night. Oh yes and how- " I cut off as I glanced at Lovino, he was looking at me like he was about to cry.

"F-fratello? " We had arrived back at the hotel then, he dashed ahead of me and inside the revolving doors without another word.

"Fratello... "

* * *

**I hope that will keep you guys waiting until the next chapter ;; a few more chapters and we will be getting to the main point of the fanfic, which is war.**

**Be ready for some fluff next chapter btw ;) Not too much drama thats really only towards the end of the chapter**

**Thanks for reading guys~**

**Mina**

**R&R=Love**


	4. A day in Paris

**Hehe please don't kill me for uber the late update ^^;; I have no excuse other than laziness and a hate for attempting fluff.**

**Well this was super difficult for me to write ;; I really run out of fluffy ideas fast skdgjndg I must thank Angel for giving me the ideas (and nagging me xD) for this chapter~ **

**Warning; Romano's swearing omg xD and a little OOC Italy, because of the way I want you to look at his character he's going to get a little OOC from now on.**

**Feel free to correct any of my french ;; I've only taken french one so I mostly used google translate there.**

**Next chapter is where we officially switch to part two. Part two will be much longer than one but I promise it will be much more interesting as well ;; **

**Thank you so much for all the reviews guys it means a lot :) **

**So to the story! :D**

**Chapter 3: A day in Paris**

"My feet hurt~" I whined as we turned another corner, we had been walking for at least two hours and still had not found a place to eat. The city was huge, but all the shops we thought about stopping by were rather closed for some odd reason or just not something Lovino would eat, he was very picky.

"Whining about it won't do anything, suck it up! " He snapped back at me, stopping at the crosswalk. The large bundles of people made moving difficult and had made the process even slower than it would have been under normal circumstances. Romano ran down another random street passing millions of restaurants without care.

"Fratello~ I'm so hungry can't we just stop somewhere..."My stomach growled in agreement but I was ignored, his pace even speeding up slightly. I huffed in defeat trudging behind him, my head to the ground and arms flapping around like noodles.

_ Mm noodles..._

I could have sworn I was drooling a little just thinking of them. The walk had been only about another ten minutes before Lovino finally gave up and entered a random restaurant we passed.

_ Le Peu Tasse De Thé_

The name was long and considering I didn't speak French quite inelegant sounding. I wasn't exactly sure what kind of restaurant it was until I realized he had chosen not a restaurant but a little cafe. The yellowish green walls were fairly bare despite a few paintings mainly of sceneries such as fields and sunsets, stereotypical scenes as I liked to call them.

The place was littered with small wooden two person tables, not a single group sitting area was in sight. Lovino casually went up to the register, staring at the menu above us completely written in French, I wasn't even sure how we could order from such a place.

The peachy menu was covered in pictures of little coffee cups with abstract designs swirling around them. Lovino startled me when his voice erupted out in an almost sickly sweet manor, the way he normally addressed strangers.

" Excusez-moi? "

_ Lovino can speak French? Since when?_

I shot a questioning glance towards him but it was ignored as the women behind the counter answered cheerily with a large smile pasted on her average features.

" Puis-je avoir un cappuccino petites et ... un moment, " He looked towards me as he took his wallet out of his back pocket. The gaze held for a few seconds before I looked away urgently, feeling something stir in my chest.

"W-what?" I stuttered, unsure of what he expected. He titled his head towards the counter giving me a questioning look.

When I had no response he huffed," What do you want? I'll pay, just tell me. " I looked at the menu... I wasn't even sure what they had.

Lovino sighed and turned back to the women who was awaiting an answer patiently, "Une puce muffin au chocolat et un cappuccino plus petite." With that he took out a twenty-dollar bill from his black wallet and handed it to the beaming women.

"Uhm, fratello?" I questioned softly but I was ignored as he reached for the bag the women was handing him and the two cups that had been set neatly on a tray.

"Merci." Lovino turned on his heel, leaving me behind. I stumbled behind him as he sat down at one of the multiples of empty tables.

The place was almost deserted; it was only us and two other older couples. I sat across from him in the small yet comfy plush chair placed there. He slid the bag and one of the cups towards me picking up the remaining cup and sipping from it, his face staying emotionless all the while.

"What's this fratello? " I hadn't expected him to get me anything since I hadn't answered.

"Things for you to eat, you were complaining about being hungry so... " He seemed almost _flustered _when he trailed off, I shook the thought from my head quickly.

_ There is no way such a small thing could make him of all people embarrassed. _

I merrily reached into the bag, pulling out the mysterious object with one swift motion. My eyes sparkled at the beautiful muffin that I held in my hands, it looked so good right then I had to use all my power to stop myself from devouring it in one bite. I took a miniature bite from it, it was chocolate chip, my favorite.

I smiled up at Lovino as I nibbled at the muffin hungrily; he looked away right away, puffing his cheeks out slightly.

"Stop staring at me, freak." He mumbled, sipping out of the small white cup once more. I let a small giggle slip from between my lips at the slight shade of crimson that tinted his rounded cheeks.

"Grazie fratello!" I took another much larger bite of the muffin.

"Whatever." He huffed, resting his face against the palm of his hand and looking in the opposite direction of where I sat across from him. The realization just dawned on me, I had never thought of Romano as _cute _before, the thought made me want to burst out laughing. I put down the muffin; using both my hands I squished my cheeks inwards, causing my lips to pop out.

"Fratello is so cute~" I shook my head around, talking like a mother would to her baby. Lovino's head snapped up, he was glaring intensely at me, all of his blood pooling to his rapidly darkening cheeks. He slammed the delicate cup down and stood up with a start, his eye twitching slightly.

"D-don't..." He trailed off, realizing the odd looks he was getting, he sat down slowly attempting to return himself to his uncaring stance but his cheeks stayed the same deep color. He looked towards the wall beside him, "Don't say crap like that." He crossed his arms over his chest, hiding his rounded face behind his auburn locks.

"But you are~ Oh yes, when did fratello learn French? " The question had just come back to mind; I couldn't seem to imagine a situation where he would have enough patience to learn it. He snorted, lifting his face up.

"That damned tomato bastardo left me with that pervy Frenchman all the time and he forced me to learn his language when he wasn't attempting to molest me." He scoffed, sipping once more from the delicate cup in front of him. "Just as I was expected to learn idiotic Spanish! Pfftt." I grinned, liking his sudden energy. Another question came to mind as I took my final bite of the muffin.

"Why didn't you get something to eat? " I finally turned to the untouched drink that sat on the table, the steam that was once emitting from it finally gone.

"I'm not hungry. " His voice was monotone but the side of his mouth twitched slightly showing dishonesty in his reply.

"Why don't we go to an Italian restaurant later? I know one around here!" I smiled knowing right away why he didn't eat, he nodded slightly, finishing off what I assumed was a coffee. It turned out he had bought me a cappuccino and it was delicious. I finished drinking my own drink in silence as Lovino sat staring towards the door, shifting around awkwardly.

"Done. " I breathed, feeling the warmth of the drink set comfortably in my stomach. He bolted from his seat and strolled to the door, leaving me behind. I rapidly grabbed our empty cups and the hollow bag, throwing everything into their rightful places at the trash. Lovino had waited for me, holding the door open watching as I made my way over to him.

When we re-entered the overcrowded sidewalk, preparing to head back to the hotel an idea came to mind.

"Hey fratello, could we walk around Paris for the day, sort of like a personal tour? We could see the Eiffel tower and visit all the special stores and landmarks~" I mused, swaying back and forth as I talked.

"Alright." I noticed again the slight upturn in his lips and the way his eyes lit up at the idea although his eyebrows kept knotted and his lips quickly returned to a straight line.

"Ve~" The sound slipped from between my lips suddenly, I had to hold back the slight shudder I felt running through my spine.

_ What was that...?_

"Where do you want to go? " The question somehow left me baffled. There were so many places I wasn't even sure where to begin. I looked up into his hazel eyes, pondering what sort of places _he_ would want to go. Nothing came to mind.

"Where do _you_ want to go? " I decided to direct the question back to him instead.

"Maybe..." He stopped walking, tilting his head a little in what I assumed was deep thought. "Uhh..." His head dropped, his hair instantly covering his bright eyes.

_ Bright... I just noticed they aren't that vivid color most of the time..._

My mind began to wander, leaving me with that sudden uneasiness again.

"How about..." I couldn't tell if he was at a loss of ideas or if he just didn't want to say it. "Y-you decide!" He lifted his face suddenly swinging his arms around like some sort of crazed animal; an angry flush tinted his plump cheeks.

"Okay! " I smiled, pushing him to start walking once more. The crowd was still suffocating and if we were going to get anywhere we needed to move as much as possible.

"So?" He questioned as I continued to push him through the mobs of humans surrounding us.

"It's a secret. " I made a small hushing sound, ending it with a giggle.

"You can't just drag me to some random place! Just tell me where we are going!" He growled, running ahead, gaining enough distance between us to cease the pressure I once had on his back.

"But I like secrets," I pouted. "It's always more fun when you don't know."

He snarled, turning around to look at me but somehow his features softened.

"Fine, I'll play your little game."

I giggled and jumped up, "yay!" I didn't actually know where we would go but I knew if I head in a general direction I would think of something soon enough. I had been wrong though, after about an hour of walking I realized I had _nothing _in mind.

We were walking down _another _unknown street now, my eyes frantically searching for a place to visit. Despite the busy streets and plethora of stores nothing truly seemed interesting. I could hear an almost silent groan escape Romano's lips.

"You have no idea where we are going, correct?" I let a nervous laugh escape my lips; my cold fingers entangled themselves into my hair as my feet slowed to a stop.

"Well…" I turned around to look at him, forcing a laugh.

"Park, let's go." I was surprised when he suddenly changed directions.

"Park?" I skipped behind him. "But I thought fratello hates stuff like parks…" I noted I probably shouldn't talk in third person like that, it could drive him away once more.

"I-I don't _hate _them and what do you mean by stuff like that?" He barked back, turning around, staring me down with piercing eyes.

"W-well you know, stuff like…" I averted my gaze from his eyes. "Like… outdoorsy? It's just you wouldn't have anything to do and you don't really l-like… nature or that s-stuff." I began to tremble slightly, preparing myself for the pain that would soon strike me. No such thing came.

"Oh…" He had turned back around and was now walking at an unbelievably slow speed. The air between us became awkwardly silent as we continued the good fifty yards to the park, one I had not noticed beforehand. It wasn't too fancy of a park; It had a large pond in the middle and a few picnic tables and lots of little trees but nothing more.

"Ve~" The sound slipped once more as I spotted a duck floating across the water. My eyes lit up and I raced passed Lovino and to the pool of dark liquid.

"What do you think you're doing? Wait for me!" He grabbed my collar and pulled me back, the fabric pinching my skin painfully as he did.

"Ve~ I just wanted to see the ducks…" I pouted, attempting to squirm from his tight grip. In response he let go but instead took my hand, pausing the glare at me.

"J-just walk! Don't run you idiot…" He added as he pulled me towards the park by my hand. I couldn't tell if it was the sun playing tricks on my eyes or not but his skin was accompanied by a bright shade of red resting lightly on his cheeks. Considering we were only a couple yards from the pond in the first place we made it there in just a few seconds, he released his grip on my hand when we did.

I crouched down in front of the navy blue water, watching the ducks swim around it in circles. I didn't have anything to feed them but I reached out my hand anyways, hoping maybe they would come at least a little closer. Lovino stood next to me, staring down into the water. His eyes were dulled, his mouth curling slightly at the sides, he looked… sad, almost mournful, but why? What was there to be sad about? He turned his attention to me.

"What are you looking at?" His words lacked bite, the bite that would normally nudge at my heart. I turned back to the pond without answering; one of the ducks actually was coming closer. I leaned out just slightly, welcoming it in. The duck was now only inches from my fingers, observing me as if I was a foreign creature. I reached just a little further out and little further, almost…just a little further.

"Be careful!" Suddenly, I was being pulled back by my right arm; the pressure from his hand leaving a light bruise. "Stupido! Don't fall in!" He had somehow gravitated to the ground and somehow, at some point, pulled me on top of him. The duck that was once there had now swam away; leaving only ripples behind. My face felt like it had been stuck in an oven and my heart pounded so fast I feared it might stop altogether.

"What were you thinking? You don't know how deep that water is!" Romano scolded me. I didn't answer, all my focus deeply set on the arms that were wrapped around my mid-section. I squirmed a little, attempting to free myself but his grip only tightened. "Well?" He growled angrily when I didn't answer.

"Uh…" I didn't have a real answer; I hadn't even realized I was about to fall until I was being pulled back. I looked around us frantically and saw the groups of people just staring our way; Lovino had made it look like quite a scene. "Fratello…" The nervous word slipped from between my lips as more and more gazes were shot our way; some in disgust, some in admiration, and some in just simple interest.

"You still haven't answered me!" He accused, oblivious to all the eyes watching him, all the eyes watching _us_. "Do you even understand the danger you could have been in? What do you think I would do if you drowned? It's not like I'm strong enough to pull you out!" I turned my head just enough to look at him.

"You know if I can't pull you out, you drown! Some random stranger isn't just going to save you on a whim! If you died what am I going to do? You are my only brother and you know I-" He cut himself off and turned away, a deep red coloring his entire face.

"You?" I tried to coax him into finishing the sentence, curious as to what he was about to say. Instead of answering he pushed me off and mumbled something inaudible. "What was that?" I tried once more.

"Nothing f-forget it, jerk!" He stood up and with a brisk turn he began walking away, leaving me behind. I stumbled after him, watching as all the eyes that were once watching us went back to their original places.

"Wait! Fratello~!" He didn't slow down; actually I swear he sped up a little. It wasn't long before we were back on the street and I had somehow successfully caught up with him. The walk was slightly awkward and silent until I spotted something from the corner of my eye. I turned my head to look, but nothing was there. We continued to walk a few more minutes when I saw it again, the flash of brown in the corner. This time I turned around, stopping completely to search. Rummaging through a knocked over trash can was one of the cutest things I had ever seen, a puppy.

The puppy's fur was kind of scraggly, it was a light yellow but it had a layer of what looked like dirt on top. Other than the dirt the pup seemed perfectly healthy. Lovino still had yet to notice I had stopped and was now a good ten yards ahead of me, but I didn't try to catch up instead I began to slowly approach the small being before me.

"Hello~" I reached my hand out, offering it to the puppy. The puppy slowly inched closer, taking a little time to sniff the air. Once it was close enough I picked it up without warning. It didn't struggle or attempt at biting or clawing me, this puppy had a family at some point.

"What are you doing?" I felt a sudden gust of warm air next to my ear; I jumped back, startling the puppy.

"P-puppy!" I held the small being up to his face almost slightly fearful knowing the way Lovino didn't exactly 'love' animals. Lovino's reaction was nothing but a small roll of the eyes, but I saw it again, that slight upturn on his lips and the slight raise of his eyebrows.

"Isn't…she, he, it? Cute!" I pushed the puppy a little closer to his face looking for a change on his features, anything that pointed to a smile. I didn't catch anything before the puppy let out a small, adorable, yawn bringing my attention from Lovino to it. "Aw~" I cooed, watching as the puppy leaned forward from my grip and sent a small lick up the side of Lovino's cheek.

"W-what-" Lovino jumped back slightly, cutting himself off as his cheeks were inflamed in crimson. The puppy gave out a small yelp, one that almost sounded like a giggle. I held back a chuckle as Romano turned an angry glare towards the people staring at him as they passed.

"Aw~ I'm almost jealous, the puppy got to give fratello a kiss." His already inflamed face somehow darkened, and his lips twitched upwards, he seemed so humiliated, but it was just such an adorable look on him. I was mainly just aiming to mess with his head a little but his reaction was so adorable I couldn't stop myself from my next action. I closed the space between us and planted a small peck on his cheek, backing away, a grin placing itself on my lips.

_Another adorable reaction._

I mused at the twitch of his eye.

"Idiota…" With that he was walking away at as quick of a pace as possible; leaving me, and the puppy, behind. I decided the puppy likely had a home nearby and set it down in its original place, running after Romano. Even once I had caught up he didn't let me stay in step with him, he kept trying to get farther and farther away from me.

"Ne, Roma?" I hadn't called him Roma since we were kids and I saw the slight twitch of his eye at the nickname, he hated nicknames. A lot.

"Ne~ Vene?" He mocked, still avoiding looking anywhere but in front of him.

"Roma~!" I jumped in front of him, planning only to catch his attention, but getting a different result. He screeched, so loud my ears popped. I closed my eyes and covered my ears protectively, missing out on the rest of his reaction. Once I had coaxed my eyes open once more, letting my muscles relax I saw a scene I never could have imagined.

Lovino was lying across the concrete on his back, somehow his whole body had a turned scarlet in what I assumed was embarrassment. I couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Pffft- Hahahahaha!" I fell to the ground as well; laughing so hard it hurt my sides. Lovino on the other hand looked anything but amused, glaring me down so intensely I swear if I hadn't been laughing it would have hurt.

"Romanito~! Italia!" The voice shocked me, stopping my laughter almost immediately.

_What is he doing here?_

For some reason, even though the words were never spoken, they felt so bitter even just as a thought in my head. It just had to be him there; it just had to be Spain of all people to show up.

"Ahh~ I never expected to see you two here!" Lovino had somehow pulled himself back together while I wasn't looking; he was now on his feet and sneering insults at the Spanish man. Okay so yes, his name is Antonio, but I don't like calling him by his casual name. To be honest we aren't really friends, I only act kindly around him so Lovino won't be upset with me. In all honesty I ha-

"Italy~ how've you been?" Suddenly he was right in my face; although I was still on the ground he has crouched down to get closer. His breath reeked of tomatoes, a scent I would normally like that somehow had become rotten. I plastered a nice wide smile on my face, adding that ridiculous sweetness to my voice that I often did. I can't lie, I do have a natural sweetness, I know it's there and I know that's why people like me but at times like this I like to add a little extra into what I already have.

"Ve~ I've been fantastic, how has Toni been?" Calling him that, it sickened me, I felt disgusting letting the word drop off my tongue so easily and so, _just so, _sweetly. I brought myself to my feet trying to make a larger gap between myself and the larger man who stood in front of me but he closed the gaps every time.

"I've been great, gracias." He smiled, I swear I felt vomit creeping up my throat. Disgustingly white teeth were revealed as his lips slid open. His voice, his smile, his stupid chubby cheeks, his everything absolutely disgusted me. "Oh Italy! I almost forgot I found this at one of the stores I was at earlier and thought you may like it." Only one thought came to mind. I'm trashing it the second no one is looking.

I had only just realized the mutiple bags he was balancing when he reached into one of them, probably to get this 'gift' After a few moments of shuffling he pulled out a small phone charm, on the end was a little plate of pasta, I couldn't deny that I loved it but... not now that _he _touched it...

"Ve~ Grazie Toni, it's so cute." I skipped up to him taking the charm, without actually letting him so much as brush that disgusting skin of his against me. I held the charm in the air as if I was proud of it, making sure at least Spain believed I was. Although I had pretty much disliked Spain since my childhood years where he would leave Romano to _creep_ on me I still refused to let him onto that fact.

"Hey! Bastardo! Why the fuck are you here?" Lovino had traveled over to us and was now standing next to me, glaring at Spain. I approved of his insults, the digusting creep deserved it. Okay, maybe I was a little harsh... but Spain, he's not the type of person I'd like to be freinds with.

"Oh well, I was just passing by~ I've been shopping all day, see?" Spain held up the bags, whatever he had been looking for, he obviously found and much, much more. "When I saw you and Italia I at least had to say hi!" He gave another wide, disgusting smile. Lovino rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in return, the normal reaction he had to anything Spain said.

"Well I think you bought a little much there." The words themselves were far from insulting but the way he said them, it was almost as if he was mocking Spain just for shopping.

"Oh no, my Romanito." My eye twitched a little when the creep said my, as if he owned Romano, which he certainly did not. "These aren't all for myself, I bought stuff for others as well! Like that key chain~" He pointed to the one I had somehow convinced myself to keep in my hand rather than throw in the trash can only a few feet away. "Also I didn't come out to shop! Just to visit Canada in the hospital and make sure things were okay."

A pang of guilt shot through me, I had completely forgotten about my injured friend. You know the one I almost raged over, although it was for a good reason. I began debating heading that way next but I realized I never stayed long enough to know anything about his whereabouts and I didn't want to ask Spain, he would know I had forgotten.

"Then why did you get so much crap? How is the guy anyways?" Lovino continued on, I was fairly certain they had forgotten I was standing right in between them because they both started to rant. Lovino, mostly just asking slightly insulting questions and Spain blabbering on about whatever he felt like. They only really grabbed my attention once more when Spain slung his arm around me, again with the urge to vomit.

"Why can't you be more like little Italia over here?"

_I'm an adult you-_

"He's so sweet and adorable! No wonder Grandpa Rome favored the little guy~" I wanted to slap the guy the longer he talked, Lovino somehow looked like he wanted to do the opposite though. I couldn't tell if it was a trick of the light or not but he looked seriously upset, like I mean on the verge of tears upset.

_What is going on? Spain says that stuff all the time why would it suddenly bother him only now?_

Lovino somehow suddenly didn't contain any snappy replies, any insults to backfire. I could no longer see his eyes as well because he had dropped his face, Spain's slow mind finally caught on I could tell the guilt was sinking in as he shifted around. I wanted so badly, just so badly, to slap Spain and run.

_You should feel guilty bastardo. Oh god, I'm starting to sound exactly like fratello..._

"S-sorry Romanito, please forgive me." Somehow even though he was apologizing he only made me madder, it was as if he knew something I didn't. "You know I didn't mean that..." Spain finally removed his arm from around my neck and began to slowly approach Lovino.

"I don't care, bastardo." Lovino somehow sounded normal once more, like an angry Italian but something was off. He had lifted his face and although his eyebrows were knotted together, his eyes, they glistened as if he had been-

"It's okay Romanito." Spain began to ruffle around Romano's hair, ruining it with his disgusting touch. Romano only returned this gesture with a glare, not bothering to slap him away or anything. I felt my stomach lurch a little as I watched them, somehow I was nervous, probably because Spain was so close he might have been contaminating my only brother.

"Whatever, anyways my stomach hurts I'm going home, Venziano you can do whatever you want." He ducked under Spain's arm, and began to walk away.

I hadn't really realized it until now but it was actually getting kind of late, it was about four in the afternoon. Spain gave Romano a casual wave goodbye and left as well, there really was nothing to debate, I ran after Romano. In what was only a few minutes of thinking he had covered a lot of ground, I was having trouble even finding him, much less catching up to him.

The crowds were still a ridiculous thickness making it almost impossible to spot just one person. Although I had all these facts working against me I managed to find him after about ten minutes of running and searching.

"Fratello~!" I still couldn't stay up to pace with him though, for someone who felt sick he moved awfully fast. Eventually though he slowed down, when we were about two blocks from the hotel. Now that I was finally in pace with him things became extremely awkward, the air was heavy with silence.

"Ve fratello? " I asked awkwardly, attempting to end the uncomfortable silence. Somehow that sound slipped from between my lips again in the process, it may be some sort of nervous twitch type thing.

"Yes? " He somehow almost sounded as if he had been punched in the stomach, out of breath and in pain. His face was pointed away from me so I couldn't see his expression.

"Do you remember Grandpa Rome? " I tried using memories as a way to lighten the mood; I had made the wrong decision. My words were met by pure silence. "Like how he used to make us pasta with that special cheese on top and tuck us in at night. Oh yes and how- " I cut myself off as I glanced at Lovino, he was looking at me, finally he had lifted his face but...

"F-fratello? " His normally hard eyes softened into puddles, his normally purse lips curved downwards. We had arrived back at the hotel, only inches from the door; he dashed ahead of me and inside the revolving doors without another word.

"Fratello... " I was left utterly confused.

_Was fratello...crying? why?_

I couldn't understand it none of it made sense, all I talked about was Grandpa Rome. He seemed happy while we were with Grandpa Rome, I knew I was missing something in all this but I wasn't even slightly sure of what it could be. I didn't like the idea that he may have been keeping secrets from me, we were brothers, what was there to hide? I knew very well I didn't know much about Lovino, but it was something that couldn't be helped.

Our childhoods were awfully separate and although we are both Italy we both were brought up very differently by very different people. There were so many things I didn't understand. So, so many things, I walked inside slowly pondering all the possible reasons he could be upset but nothing came to mind. He never cared, the world could despise him and he wouldn't care, I couldn't piece it together. I was so lost.

_He doesn't care... does he? _

The question came to mind but I quickly pushed it aside, if he did he couldn't have hidden it so long. At least I told myself that but in the back of my mind I was still unsure.

"Yo~ Uhm... sorry about yesterday, I was just being stupid." There was another person I didn't want to see almost as much as Spain, Alfred. He sounded like he meant it but the only reply I could think of is 'Why are you apologizing to me?' He seemed to become wary and awkward as I tried to think up a polite, sweet reply the kind of things I would say on normal circumstances.

"Ve~ It's okay as long as Canada is okay~ Si?" I decided that worked well enough, although I had no idea what state the poor boy, okay fine, _man_ was in. I had only just realized it but I had been standing in that lobby a long time, I must have looked odd. Alfred looked uncomfortable with my answer, I suddenly felt extremely worried.

"He is alright, right?" I prayed the answer to that question was yes otherwise I probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep that night. The way America seemed so hesitant told me I wasn't going to get the answer I had wanted.

"Well... he's not bad, just you know... hurt." Despite the fact it was his fault no part of him reflected guilt but instead despair, I understood the despair half. It had only just come to mind but the two of them were brothers America and Canada. Images of a bloody Lovino came to mind. I understood it a little better but the lack of guilt still confused me.

"Ve~ I see..." Somehow the clock above me suddenly caught my eye, it had somehow become nine without my knowing. Alfred seemed to be off in his own head so I decided it would be a good time to leave. "Well I'm tired goodnight~" I didn't wait for his reply; I just skipped off to the elevator. I decided upon leaving tomorrow, home was the best place to be at this point.

"Where everyone is happy..." I couldn't help but murmur to myself.

**Oh my god ;; its finally done! I'm so so sorry for the late update It's summer so I can promise you the next chapter will be up on time~**

**Plus I'm super excited to start Romano's POV~ :3 **

**Everyone please thank the amazing Angel-chii for not only pretty much mapping out this chapter for me but editing it as well :) **

**I love you Angel. (Angel: I love you too Mina. :3 )~ Thank you so much :DD**

**I hope this chapter was good enough for you~ Be expecting the next update in at most 3 weeks :)**

**R&R=A very happy Mina.**


	5. The Unexpected

**So firstly, GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN! **

**This is so late D: Ack! -head desk- I tried my best, the reality of all this is that things are complex though I'm really sorry ;~~~; I hope you all understand.**

**But But But here it is :D another chapter~ I hope its good enough to make up for the ridiculous wait ;o; Just know I love you all~**

**Better yet? Yeah I didn't think so...**

**So just a little thing we are now in Romano's POV so expect to be a little confused by the way his brain works xDD**

**WARNING; Romano... he swears a lot xDD AND I'm not following any historical events so know that the events in this are just made up. I'm not much for history gomen -bows- maybe I should be saying this in Italian, Dispiace!**

**Part 2; Nightmares and Dreams**

**Chapter 4: The Unexpected.**

( Don't forget its now Romano's POV. )

Somehow, I had fallen asleep, at some point in time. My mind was hazy and I was unsure of where I was and why I was there. Below me was something soft, something smooth but slightly uncomfortable.

_Damnit did I really fall asleep on the couch..._

It wasn't really a question I knew where I was the second I sat up and saw the lay out of the room, I was still in the hotel. My room was far from that amount of organization, hell, my whole house was beyond even the possibility of that sort of organization. I groaned when I felt the ache in my neck kick in once more, it was punishment for the many sleepless nights I had accumulated over the last few weeks.

I instantly laid back down, closing my eyelids and enjoying the soon to be short lived peace at mind I had.

_"Why can't you be more like little Italia over here?"_

I couldn't help the small twitch of my mouth when the memory came flooding back. I sighed to myself and sat right back up, I surely wouldn't be sleeping anymore that night. My eyes wandered towards the clock, 10 pm. I had been sleeping at most only a few hours. The room was fairly well lit and the moon let off so much light it might as well have been the middle of the day.

I didn't really feel like getting up so instead I sat there, and sat there, and sat there some more. I probably looked like some half dead freak, I sat there for two whole hours straight. I wasn't even sure how I was able to do it but next thing I knew the clock read 12 pm. I pushed myself up, deciding it was pointless to sit around like a zombie. The hotel room I had been given was fairly tiny compared to the rest or at least compared to Feliciano's room.

Really, the only two rooms I had set foot in were my own and Feliciano's so I wasn't really one to be talking. I had only my bed, the couch, and the bathroom. My room was of course accompanied by a balcony like all the rest but it was a little smaller and slightly closed off by the squished up queen bed next to it. The bed, it was still in perfect condition, completely unused reminding me off the possibility that I was losing my mind from lack of sleep.

I stumbled around just making circles for a bit pondering what I could do at this time of night. I decided to take a midnight stroll around Paris, 'might as well' was my thought on it. The moment I opened my door though, I suddenly felt extremely and irrationally nervous. I closed it once more with a quick pull, banging it against the frame and probably disturbing a few of the people who were unfortunate enough to have a room near me.

When I let go of that idea I was at a loss for what to do, I was completely bored out of my mind. Hours and hours and hours passed of nothing, nothing except pacing, laying down, and thinking. Far too much thinking, I was deeper in thought than I was comfortable being. Before I knew it I was lying face down on the bed. The sun, it was rising at this point, I don't even know how its possible for a human being to waste so much time on absolutely nothing.

Paris in the morning was actually a very beautiful sight, one that lifted my spirits a little. All the buildings despite being old and slightly tattered reflected the sunlight in a golden glow that bathed the room in a sort of peaceful shine. Another thing that I did like about the hotel was that I had managed one good night's sleep in it but only one and that was only because of the pressure of Feliciano being right next to me.

I decided to at least go get some breakfast, I couldn't deny the growling of my stomach. I had neglected eating for a few days straight, I was not really in the mood for it. I began rummaging through my suitcase for a some clean clothing to wear out, it was an extreme challenge to find anything wearable. Before jumping into the shower I got my cellphone out and called the airport, I wasn't staying in Paris any longer than needed now. I was never really needed at world meetings either, it was fairly pointless for me to be there at all.

Although I am a half of the nation I really only take care of the government type stuff and small town problems, Veneziano takes care of all the trade and contact with foreign countries since I don't do well around people. The government in pretty much all the countries didn't have as much power as all the mortals assume, really they only get what each country decides to grant them. Most of the time when a cruel leader erupts its the own country's fault, not the government's fault.

My plane was due to leave at 6 that night so I had quite a few hours left to waste and nothing to pack. I wasn't even sure what to do after breakfast even just asking myself the question of what came next left me at a loss of ideas. I certainly didn't want to sit around for another few hours doing nothing but thinking and staring at the wall. I took as quick of a shower as possible, I was quite excited to escape that damn hotel room. I threw all the contents on the floor back into my suitcase, making sure I was prepared to leave that evening.

I approached the door slowly feeling the same sudden anxiety I had the night before. My fingers hesitated to even so much as move towards the golden door knob. I closed my eyelids tightly and grabbed the door knob, giving it a hard tug without any further thought. I slowly opened my eyes to the empty hallway in front of me. Again, random anxiety but this time I decided upon ignoring it and began walking down the hallway.

It was early enough that I didn't need to worry about running into anyone, no one in their right mind got up this early. As I was passing none other than Feliciano's room though, I was proven wrong. The door swung open and ended up colliding with my face, quite painfully, might I add. I fell to a crouch on the ground as I held my face trying to stop the painful throbbing coming from it.

"Oh! I'm so sorry I didn-" Feliciano closed the door and faced towards me. "Fratello? Why are you up so early ve~?" He was making that odd sound again.

"What does it look like Idiota...?" I grumbled standing back up to glare at him. Feliciano just frowned and looked down, a small tinge of guilt shot through me. I never tried to be so harsh, it just sort of happened whenever I was around him... or really anyone for that matter.

"Want to have breakfast with me?" He suddenly shot back up with a smile once again, he had put that overly sweet voice back on, the one I hated. Sometimes he just acted so fake.

"No... I'm actually just going to go down the street and grab something quick so..." I huffed, brushing a loose strand of hair away from my face as I made my way past him. Feliciano was honestly the last person I wanted to talk to.

"W-wait!" And suddenly I was being tugged back.

"What?!" I snapped a little more harshly than I meant to. I looked down and chewed on my lip at the almost instantaneous look of hurt on his face.

"A-ah sorry, I just did that on reflex..." He swallowed hard before letting go of my shirt. I sighed, feeling a little guilty but not nearly guilty enough to give in.

"I'm leaving today by the way." I suddenly thought to add in, actually quite excited to get out of the god awful place. He was staring at me with his head cocked slightly to the side.

"Oh really? Me too~" His voice perked up just the slightest. The nervous beating of my heart raised a little though when I registered his words.

_Why, why, why... no, I need to be alone, why?!_

My head screamed but I pushed away the thoughts trying to calm myself.

"Whatever." My voice faltered slightly, betraying me in the most vicious of ways. I didn't wait for him to ask anything or reply though knowing what he would ask next. I brushed past him, making my way down the hallway without so much as glancing back.

I was in the elevator in a matter of seconds, hurriedly pushing the buttons to get away from the man I knew could show up at any moment. I was able to breath a sigh of relief when the door closed and the machine began to move. I leaned back on the heavy metal frame, for such a nice hotel the elevator was not very pleasant. The cold of the wall caused me to shiver slightly, gripping my arms in attempt to warm up. "Fuck..." I breathed, watching the doors reopen a few moments later.

The lobby was completely empty, no one was in sight, not even the smiling cheerful doorman. Oh well. Not like I wanted anyone to be around anyways. I made my way to the revolving doors looking out onto the equally empty streets. It was an odd feeling, seeing a city like Paris vacant. Well not quite vacant, cars still lined every street and there were still a good amount of wandering humans.

Wandering, lost? No, they knew where they were going, unlike me. I sighed and began to walk off, choosing to just head right and hope I'd end up somewhere. I took the time to observe my surroundings, something most people didn't believe I actually did often. Everyone believed me to be just a rude, ignorant brat. Honestly it should have insulted me more than it did.

As I continued to walk, finding myself caught deep in though, something caught my eye, an Italian restaurant. I was tempted to slap myself for being so unoriginal and picky but honestly I just needed to eat something and nothing else sounded appealing at that point. I thought for a few moments beginning to pull myself away, honestly I should of at least eaten something French. For fuck's sake, I was in Paris. I quickly changed my mind though when I felt the hollow growl of my stomach.

"Nghh..." I growled a little to myself before walking to the rather large entrance.

"Ciao! Welcome, welcome!" Greeted a rather perky women. She had long brown hair and soft facial features, she was not Italian, for sure.

"Ciao." I answered flatly looking around the nice sized but fairly empty restaurant. All the walls were full of pictures of various things, mainly Italian monuments and historical figures. There were many sets of booths and tables, all made out of a dark wood with red, white, and green table cloths. 'Cheesy.' is all I could think.

"How many?" He asked with a bright smile.

"Just one." I responded looking to the side as she grabbed a menu from under the podium she stood at and marking off a small sheet of paper on the table. She motioned for me to follow as she walked off to the table I would be sitting at, I obeyed without question. I sat down right when she set the menu at a small almost lonely seeming table in the back.

"I'm Paola and I'll be your server today!" She began her bubbly spiel. "Today the specials are-" She continued to name a various assortment of dishes as I zoned off looking down at the fairly crowed menu I was given. "Is there anything I can start you off with to drink?"

"Just water." I answered lifelessly, playing the the edge of the table cloth out of curiosity.

"Alright then, I'll be right back sir." She answered with a polite smile before treading off. It wasn't long before I found my heart pounding and my nerves unsettled. Right in the doorway was the last person I wanted to see.

Slightly chubby cheeks, large adoring caramel eyes, messy chestnut hair, and an unmistakable frizzled curl sitting at the side of his head. There was no way I could be mistaking it. It was Feliciano. I panicked, grabbing my menu in a shaky mess and using the object to cover my face. My hands trembled like mad at just the anticipation of him being there.

"Here you go sir~" The women's face known as Paola interrupted my moment of near hysteria as she set the small glass cup in front of me. "Do you know what you would like to order?" She asked cheerily, taking out a small pad of paper.

"U-uhh..." I honestly didn't feel like eating anymore so I just pointed to the first thing on the menu, pretending I couldn't say it, something that would never happen considering I'm fucking Italian. She smiled and took my menu with a happy, "I'll have that for you right away~" I nodded lightly as she walked off watching another somehow even perkier women seat Feliciano.

"Oh ve~ Well you know what I actually live in Italy! I'm just here for a- I mean on vacation." I overheard my brother, turning slightly nervously to the side to prevent him from noticing me.

"Oh really? Ah, I'm so jealous what's it like in Italy?" The woman answered, clapping her hands together in what I assumed was excitement. Feliicano always was way to friendly... I swore when I was a kid he would be the kid to jump right into the rapist's van.

"It's well..." Feliciano stopped a few moments, thinking I assumed. "It's pretty nice ve~ There's lots of pretty ladies and everyone is so nice there." I could almost hear him smiling the way his voice rose so perfectly at the end. It always felt like a prank, his happiness it always did. But I knew better now. Feliciano was just the good one, the better one... the one who took it all.

"Well that sounds wonderful I'd love to go there one day." I heard a few clacks and the sound of a dragging chair, Feliciano must have sat down. "So I'm Maggie I'll be your server today~ what would you like to start off with?" I heard Feliciano make a soft humming sound, he was obviously thinking. For some reason that pissed me off.

"Ve~ I don't know, what do you think I should have Maggie." Feliciano was teasing the woman, I could tell the moment he said those words. He acted otherwise but I didn't believe Feliciano actually had _any _interest in women. He was still a virgin. Well... n-not that I wasn't as well but it was different. He never actually even went out with anyone, just flirted, teased, it was all so obviously _fake._

He spent enough time with the potato bastard and that Japanese freak for me to figure out something was up. It wasn't until the night he said he was always so used to sleeping with those fucking idiots that it clicked in my head. No straight man would sleep with his friends end of story. Not that I cared if my brother liked men or women, it honestly didn't matter to me but it all just felt like an obvious fact, something you can't over look.

"Well then I'll get that~!" I was snapped out of my small thought process as Feliciano answered whatever the women had said.

"O-okay then..." The womea stuttered, tripping I assumed from the small bang.

"Are you alright ve~?" Yeah, she tripped. I heard a rather unpleasant squeak as Feliciano got out of his seat I presumed, I took this moment to peak over. I had been right all the way on the ground lied a rather red woman who was looking at the ground as Feliciano offered out his hand. I couldn't stop the small chuckle that escaped my lips at the scene.

Feliciano was so _fake_. I instantly looked up as Feliciano started to pull the woman up, almost falling over himself.

"I-I'm okay..." The woman replied timidly running off I assumed from the padding I heard.

"Sir, here's your food." A heaping plate of pasta was suddenly set in front of me as my own waitress reappeared.

"Grazie..." I replied quietly, nervous I might attract Feliciano's attention if I spoke to loud. "Actually, could I possibly get this to go?" I suddenly wanted desperately to leave. Get out, _run away._

"Sure~" She replied, her lips upturning in an obviously fake smile as she walked off to get what I assumed was the bill and a box. I scrunched up my nose after the left suddenly having the urge to vomit I pushed the plate as far away as possible.

"Here you go... A-actually I never caught your name." I heard Feliciano's waitress's voice as she reappeared bringing my attention back to them.

"Ve~? Really I could have sworn I had told you, mmm oh well I'm Feliciano but you can call me Feli~" His voice suddenly tinged to a sickly sweet sound one that made my stomach churn even harder than the dish of pasta across from me. He was so _fake._

"O-oh okay! Feli then!" The woman said cheerily finally setting the drink down with a small clink. I had had enough, I really didn't feel like listening anymore yet I did for some reason. I kept listening to my brother flirt with some random chick, flirt uncaring about how it actually made the women feel or what it actually meant for the future. Useless. Alright, I shouldn't be talking but still it irritates the hell out of me. I can't stand him, he's awful. The worst brother in the history of the world.

Not that I was any better. I abused my own little brother but its not as if he didn't abuse me to. It was just mental abuse instead, he messed with my mind. Lied about wanting me there. Lied about loving me because we all knew that wasn't even possible even I would hate me if I were him. Still, he acted so sweet, he acted so kind but that was it, it was acting. I knew it. He didn't know I knew it, but I did. I'd known since the day he and my grandfather left me. Left me alone to suffer.

Bastards.

Cold heartless bastards.

"Here's your box sir and the bill." Suddenly two objects were placed on the table and the smiley woman in front of me began scooping the pasta into a box as I picked up the bill. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet counting out the money and slipping it into the small booklet before handing it to the women in an almost rushed mannerism. She gladly took it, exchanging it for the now full box.

I gave a small thank you before dashing out the door and into the street in a bit of a huffy rush but not before hearing a few words slip from my brother's mouth. The words shocked me a little honestly but not much since I knew how he liked to show off. 'My fratello and I are going home tonight actually.' He had said. It wasn't a surprise that he had acted as if we were close, its quite attractive to most women for some reason to think of a man who is close to his family. I'll never understand that but whatever.

I made my way back to the hotel in a bit of a rush stopping only to throw out the box in my hands. I suddenly felt no hunger what so ever, honestly the box was beginning to smell of stale vomit, not that I really knew what that smelled like but it was really just a guess of if I did, it would be that awful stench it would resemble.

The streets were much more crowded as I had somehow spent two whole hours in that god forsaken restaurant. It was painfully obvious that almost every one of the people lining the streets were tourists. I only had time to catch a few words and glances here and there but almost all of them were speaking English not French and they all just looked so foreign, _out of place._

Thankfully the restaurant actually was very close to the hotel, it took about half an hour to dart there and back. A very easy trip. The hotel was still oddly empty the only people were the doorman and the group of idiots fighting in the lobby. By group of idiots I mean the English freak, American fat ass, and French pervert. They made quite the trio though I must admit but despite all the fighting they did it always seemed like in secret they were having three ways together, just saying.

I made my way to the stairs this time, deciding to walk for once. I wasted a good ten minutes walking up the stairs at least, I had to admit I wasn't in the best shape. Not that I was fat or anything just not like... shut up.

Once I had finally made it to my floor I walked to my room with ease, unlocking and opening the door without any thought and walking right in. The room was actually kind of dark since I had left the shades open, I didn't mind I kind of liked it that way. I sighed as I sat down on the couch and began to think.

What to do, what to do. I honestly had no idea I was again at a loss for ideas I was honestly wondering if I could schedule my plane to leave earlier but then again what was there I could do at home that I couldn't in Paris? I grunted and fell back on the couch, life seemed so complex sometimes. Not that it wasn't, surely it wasn't easy. I almost instantly bounced up when I realized where my thoughts were going, the last place I wanted to be was there.

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. The room suddenly seemed to dark so I got up and reopened the shades, deciding to go sit on the balcony, maybe do some people watching? Sounds awkward but really it can be entertaining, people are weird. Weird, stupid, annoying, but for some reason interesting.

I simply sat down and stared down at the people blankly watching them all pass letting my mind drift and drift and drift until suddenly I found it was getting dark. Another day of sitting around like a zombie, I sighed inwardly. I must seem so creepy to other people sometimes. I stood up and took out my cell phone to check the time, it was almost 5, time to start heading to the airport. I made my way back into my hotel room and grabbed my two already completely packed suitcases, internally thanking myself for getting ready this morning instead.

I rummaged through my pocket until I found the room key and then decided to head out, knowing I was all ready. I closed the door lightly behind me with a click, taking one last look at the beautiful red and white hallway I made my way to the metal elevator just a few yards down the hallway just like this morning my travel was interrupted though.

"Ah, amore!" I heard an irritating voice yell. I growled under my breath not even bothering to reply as I jumped into the elevator in a rush.

I honestly didn't hate him but that didn't mean I liked him either, he was of course my father figure so it was difficult to hate him but... he was still unforgivable. I caught a glance of him as the elevator doors closed getting to see the small look of hurt cross over his features. Honestly it felt good to see him hurt, he deserved it for so, so many reasons. Even while I say that though I feel a tinge of guilt but that doesn't mean anything

I remember the sicko that suggested I felt romantic love for that man, for fucking _Antonio. _Maybe, just maybe I loved him as family but god damn-it never would I ever love him in that way. People say that I swear and freak out at him to hide my love, they are so wrong its pitiful. I swear at him and yell because if I didn't I'd never be able to ever so much as bring back even a portion of the pain he caused me.

Another bastard.

Another cold heartless bastard in my life.

I groaned as the elevator opened and made my way to the front desk, handing the beaming doorman my key and signing out before walking to the front of the sidewalk to search for a cab. Search and search. Paris was so busy, just so _god damn busy._ It took almost twenty minutes just to find a single cab, I felt so much relief when I finally got into the vehicle. I gave the driver the simple directions and sat back in the seat, relaxing my head.

I watched as all the twinkling buildings passed, Paris was really beautiful at night no doubt. Especially since you can _always_ see the Eiffel tower no matter where you stand. It was a matter of minutes before we arrived at the airport and I was handing the cab driver a rather large sum of money for such a short trip. One down about being in Paris, everything is over priced to extremes because, well, they can.

Not that that's not true in Italy either, Venice and Rome are exactly the same, just like all famous places, its just how it is. If it weren't for us being countries we wouldn't have the money to live and visit such places but because of our authority we can have as much money as we want or (rarely) need. I must admit sometimes we can get a little greedy.

I stepped out of the cab and into the airport waiting area, I already had my tickets so now it was all about waiting. It was already almost 6 though so really there was no wait, I basically was able to get right onto the plane.

I couldn't help the small yawn I let out as a women led me onto the extremely packed plane, I had been able to get it so I was first class but as it turned out even the first class seats were extremely full. A lot of people were traveling to Italy for some reason, well Rome to be exact. A nervous bubble in my stomach began to form as I feared that I would have to sit next to the fat ass that basically took up both seats.

"Sir, there's an empty seat next to me!" A oddly familiar voice chimed from somewhere behind me. I sighed in relief turning around with a grateful smile.

"Ah, Graz-" I cut myself off as I realized who it was. "F-Feli?" I was suddenly actually debating between him and the fat man.

"Oh! Fratello ciao~" I looked between him and the other man deciding to take my chances I turned to sit with the fat ass when suddenly an older woman took the seat. I almost growled in frustration before turning in defeat to sit with my younger brother, but not before turning and sending the woman a very enraged glare.

I sat down slightly awkwardly in the empty seat, struggling to find comfort in the extremely plushy object. Honestly sometimes they went extremely overboard with this stuff.

"Ah, fratello I'm so happy to see you I didn't expect us to be on the same plane." Feliciano cheered happily.

"This is a plane to Rome, why are you here?" I replied rather coldly, Feliciano went on unfazed.

"Silly fratello, there is no planes to Venice until next week so I just decided I could get a ride the rest of the way home on another plane~!" He smiled brightly, shifting over in his seat, probably to get closer to me so he could irritate me more.

"So how has fratello been? You ran off without me this morning so I didn't get to ask." Feliciano pouted, rather cut- annoyingly. I choose to ignore him, maybe if I acted like he wasn't there he would forget I was here as well.

"Ve~ Fratello you in there." He asked, titling his head to the side and poking my cheek. My eye twitched a little but I stayed silent.

"Fratellloooo~" He called quite loudly, only to be shushed by a nearby flight attendant. He obeyed but kept trying.

"So what did fratello do today? Anything interesting? I had breakfast with a very pretty lady, she was quite nice and she gave me free pasta~! Amazing right?! I don't know why she did but it was very nice and I was very thankful, it took practically all day to pack up my stuff, how long did it take you? Oh! I saw big brother Spain before I left, did you? He seemed rather upset about something but he wouldn't talk to me about it oh well." Feliciano began one of his irritating rants, not even bothering to give me time to answer.

"Ve~ Fratello you seem tired, are you tired?" He continued to spew questions and I continued to look away in silence figuring that maybe if I ignored him maybe he would just stop trying.

"I wonder if you have been sleeping well lately you didn't seem to sleep all that well a few days ago honestly... I do worry anyways how did you like Paris? It was beautiful right?" He waited a few moments for an answer, he got none.

"Did you go sight seeing at all? I got a small chance to see the Eiffel tower today it was really beautiful you should go there sometime, its beautiful si?" Still no answer.

"Ah, fratello I left my cell phone at home actually its kind of been bugging me since I've been needing it Its really very useful for when I want to call you and such I was hoping we could do something today but I couldn't call you so, did you find something good to have for breakfast? How was your walk this morning?" The questions just continued to flow from his mouth without a thought, he just kept going. I kept up the silent treatment.

"Fratello...?" He asked timidly, finally beginning to back away from me. "S-so you don't want to talk I see t-that's okay I'll just uhm look out the window its beautiful outside ve~" He said in a rush finally turning away fully. He had finally gotten the hint, damn was he slow.

I sighed to myself in relief, finally relaxing and looking over to him slightly onto to cringe back in guilt when I saw him wiping his eyes with his arm. Had I really just made my little brother cry for no reason? I felt awful. I had again proven I was an awful brother. I was tempted to start crying myself I felt so bad but then I reminded myself 'he doesn't actually want you.' I didn't feel any better per say but I felt less guilty at least, still... I was tempted to shed tears but of course I didn't. I never can.

...

...

...

"Please fasten your seat belts the plane will be landing in a few moments!" I suddenly jolted up right at the sound of a booming intercom. I couldn't remember what had happened or where I was but it didn't take long for me to remember I was on a plane. A plane attendant came by and took my seatbelt, putting it on for me with a roll of her eyes I just smiled back sheepishly as I let myself process where I was. Soon enough to intercom answered all my questions as it announced we were landing in Rome.

I looked to my left to find Feliciano staring at me a little sadly before he suddenly turned away in what I assumed was nervousness. I was tempted to roll my eyes at the fake behavior I wanted so badly for him to cut the act. Still, at the same time I wanted him to never admit to me how he truly felt. It was unexplainable.

As soon as the plane had landed and the intercom had announced we could leave I jumped up and rushed off not even bothering to utter a word just eager to get off the damned device. I waited a good ten minutes at the spinning belt before locating my things and being able to rush off once more to my car that awaited me in the private parking lot.

I almost squealed in happiness when I saw my vehicle, so happy to finally be able to go home. So happy to finally _be _home. Away from all those people that I hated seeing. I climbed happily into the drivers seat, resisting to urge to hug the wheel as I put my stuff in the trunk and started it up.

The drive home was only about twenty minutes, not bad at all except for the fact that it was almost midnight so it was quite dark and there was a lot of drunk people wandering around. People in Rome are insane, honestly they are. You have to be careful what you do your risking your life almost every time you talk to someone in this damn city I'll never understand what others see in it.

I almost ran into the my house when I arrived home, only slowing myself down to grab my bags before going inside. I swung the door open with a loud bang announcing my arrival to the empty house.

I dumped both suitcases out right there by the door way and ran to my bedroom, instantly face planting on my bed with a moan. I rolled over to look at my blank ceiling suddenly forgetting what I was so excited about. I had forgot home wasn't that great either... I grunted to myself and closed my eyes not ready for an annoying inner monologue like I tend to have.

Luckily I was saved by a loud ringing, I grumbled as if it was annoying but got up anyways and answered the device with a simple hello the number had been withheld for some reason. A gruff voice answered me.

"I'm declaring war on Italy."

My heart stopped and the phone fell to the floor with a clatter.

**Gomen for the cliffhanger but xD It worked, no? Now you really want to know I'm sorry you must hate me but just so you know we can finally begin the real story now~ wheeew**

**The next chapter will not be as late oh god I promise -bows- I cross my heart seriously I give you all the right to stab me if it is.**

**I hope this made up for the lateness ahhhhh**

**Anyways Grazie Angel for editing this again c: I love you! In case I haven't said that enough**

**Thank you so much for reading, see you all in the next chapter!**

**-Mina (Drop a review? I'll give you a... Lovino but you have to share because he's mine)**


	6. Late Nate

**Sooooo hey guys c: Summary is all written out so lets get this started~**

**I most certainty am not writing this in history class, nope nope. Well now I'm really not, I'm in bed xD because my bed, its comfy. Anyways enough nonsense.**

**I hope you enjoy this little chapter c: 3**

**Warning; Romano still has a bit of a mouth, okay a lot, that's not changing pfffff- THIS WARNING WiLL BE HERE FOREVERMORE!**

**Time to fulfill the cliffy c:**

**Thank you for all the reviews I love you all!**

**Chapter 5; Late Night  
**

"I'm declaring war on Italy."

I swear in that moment my heart had stopped beating if only for one moment. It's sounds so cliche, I know. I stood there for a few moments allowing my mind to process it all, glancing down a few moments later to find the phone laying on the floor.

I sighed.

_Did that really just happen?_

My mind mused, attempting to find a way out of the situation I internally knew I was stuck in. I couldn't think straight. I wanted to just forget I'd ever heard that and go to sleep but I _couldn't_. I knew I had to call Feliciano at the very least.

I _knew _what this meant for the both of us especially him considering how much it would break his heart to hear the words come from _my_ mouth. I didn't want to say them, ever. It seemed like I was suddenly in some whole other universe, the idea of a war against _him_ just seemed way to foreign.

I shivered.

_Maybe I can just text him?_

I shook my head almost instantly, that would be far too cruel. I picked the phone back up and put it to my ear. All I heard was the beeping of the receiver. I hung up and instantly began to dial Feliciano's number before suddenly stopping.

_Wouldn't it be just as cruel to call...?_

I internally slapped myself for having pointed that out before pressing cancel and sighing.

"To Venice it is then..." I mumbled to myself not ready for another _fucking _trip.

...

...

...

"Who is it?" His far too cheery voice chimed as I just barley finished my third knock

_Damn he's fast..._

I cursed under my breath having _just_ gotten up the courage to knock as well, it was always possible he had been watching me fight with myself for the last twenty minutes and had just been awaiting my knock.

"Your brother idiota." I cringed a little at the harshness of my voice.

_Not exactly the best way to try and make someone comfortable before you crush them bastardo._

I exhaled, attempting to calm myself enough to let him down easy.

"Oh?" I heard a few shuffles before the door opened up to his bright smile, god I was not ready to change that. "It's nice to see you fratello but you know its the middle of the night right?" His smile faded as he titled his head to the side in confusion.

"Of course I do!" I snapped, he only smiled again.

"Oh well then, want to come in?" All traces of the earlier hurt I had caused him were gone, he was completely cheery again or it was a mask. I wasn't a hundred percent sure yet.

"Actually... sure." I sighed in agreement, it was probably best that he got comfortable before I began running my mouth anyways. His grin impossibly widened, almost filling his whole face as he grabbed my arm and tugged me inside.

"Yay~ I'm so excited me and fratello get to spend some time together!" He cheered, closing the door behind him with a click and leading me to the wide open living room. His house and mine weren't too luxurious because of suspicions we could get from mortals but they were still rather nice.

The living room was a pure white, it was amazing that it had yet to be stained. All of the furniture, walls, curtains. carpets, EVERYTHING was a pure pure white. This was just an assumption but Feliciano must have had a hint of OCD or something because any time something was out of place he was almost instantly fix it without question.

He wasn't pushy where he couldn't stand it or would go insane if it wasn't fixed but he would still automatically go to fixing it up.

Feliciano pushed me down onto the white couch suddenly and sat down across from me on the small wooden chair that was painted white as well.

"Feliciano I-" I was cut off.

"Fratello would you like anything to drink or eat? I believe we haven't had anything since the plane, or at least that's just me..." He went off into thought and I mentally groaned attempting to restrain myself from saying anything to insulting or really anything rude at all.

"Feliciano, I have something to tell you." I tried my best to keep a straight face as he looked to me curiously.

"Oh? Okay fratello, but can we eat first? I'm starving." He complained covering his stomach. "I could make some pasta or pizza ve~ OR if fratello wants I could just cut up some tomatoes and we could eat that, I don't mind. What do you think?" I swear my eye was twitching.

"I don't want anything. I _need _to talk to you." I insisted keeping my face as serious as I possibly could.

"Ah but fratello..." He only whined more, attempting to break my stance. Did he seriously not have the ability to sense my mood? I probably should have taken the opportunity to put it off but for some strange reason I did not.

"No, Feliciano listen." I said sternly, setting my hand on his shoulder to get him to stop moving. He suddenly stiffened.

"A-ah... Mi dispaice..." I had hurt him again on accident, I wanted to slap myself.

"It's fine just listen okay...?" I replied lowly, nervous flitters settling in the bottom of my stomach. He nodded lightly. I just sat there in an awkward silence.

_Say something stupid!_

My brain shouted at me but I didn't react, I was honestly terrified to say it. I knew he would cry, I wasn't prepared for that. Minutes passed, still, silence. I took a deep breath

_This is it..._

"The potato bastard declared war on us, we are more than likely screwed." I just spit the words out, my voice was monotone nothing like my own. He only stared at me blankly.

_Here comes the tears... oh god..._

But nothing came, he didn't cry. He didn't scream. He didn't punch me. He didn't even blink. Nothing.

Finally he titled his head to the side and his brows knotted together. A look I had never seen on him before.

"That's not funny fratello." He answered quite blankly, glaring me down. I was suddenly angry, _furious_. He thought I was playing a prank on him, joking. He thought I was that awful. He thought I was that horrible that I would to lie to him about _his best friend _declaring war on him.

I wanted to take that pretty glass table in front of me and flip it over. Allow it break into a million shards and maybe even as a bonus lodge a few into Feliciano's thick skull. I wanted to stand up, find some rotten tomatoes, and chuck them all at him. I wanted to scream and throw a fit like a child. I wanted to do so many things at once my head was about ready to blow.

"You think this a _joke?!_" I practically growled, my anger beginning to seep through. "Do you honestly think I'm that _fucking _awful?!"

I grabbed his shoulders, hard, my eyes glaring into his still blank ones. I shook him, lightly, attempting to hold back my anger as my own inner rant began.

"I can't believe you! I can't- ugh! I don't know what would even make you think I was joking!" I shouted, finally letting him go and just staring at him.

He stared back blankly, unseeing. He didn't care. He wasn't even listening. He was in his own little world of bunnies and rainbows. I wanted to slap him, slap him so hard he might get a taste of reality and how much it actually hurts. I wanted to crush all those innocent childish thoughts.

He never took _any _of our wars seriously, he never dealt with _any _of our countries problems. He just sat back and allowed me to deal with the suffering, poverty, and war.

It was all left to me.

It was meant to become my pain. Not his. Not even our pain, just mine. My hand twitched still wanting so desperately to connect itself with his soft plump cheek, to bruise the delicate skin, yet somehow I never could. I never could hurt him the way he hurt me.

I was incapable.

Handicapped in the ways of stopping my idiotic brother from being idiotic. I grunted in frustration as I looked back to that dull look he held onto. I settled for slamming the palms of my hands against the glass table and turning on my heel to make my way out.

He didn't even move an inch, he just watched.

I let a last few words of anger leave my mouth, "If you won't believe me then fine, suffer of your own I'm not going to help you."

With that I opened the door and slammed it behind me, rushing to my car. I was so wound up I kicked the steering wheel when I got in the car. I decided that I probably shouldn't drive anytime soon but did anyways, I wasn't surprised when I got pulled over twice.

I was able to sweet talk both cops away by claiming things like 'I'm so sorry I didn't realize I was speeding you see my brother is in the hospital and I was just really worked up' or 'Oh? Wait I was speeding? I'm sorry my speedometer doesn't work right I just needed to get home from work so I could take it to the shop tomorrow.'

It's funny how they continuously fall for those and if they don't they are normally just in a bad mood. I was still in the mood to punch something when I finally arrived back home at what was now 2 am. I was honestly ready to pass out.

I fell to my plush couch after having slammed my door hard enough to knock a few paintings and pictures off the wall. I sighed as it began to all settle in.

I had just screwed everything up even more. No matter what I said I knew I needed Feliciano in order to fight this war, we were both going to be torn apart if we didn't unify ourselves. I could never understand the way I suddenly lost all sight of things like that.

I reached my hand up to touch my now wet cheek. I hated it when I got like this. I felt like the five year old who begged to have a bike and then cried when they didn't get it because they had kicked their younger cousin hard enough to make him bleed. You know what I mean, the spoiled brat that is never happy.

I knew that's partially what I was but I also knew it wasn't completely my fault. If I had a therapist like Antonio had tried to push me into they would tell me things like 'You had a rough childhood, don't blame it on yourself.' I didn't want to hear it though because who else could I blame it on?

Actually, I already didn't blame it fully on myself I blamed it on Rome and Antonio but most of all Feliciano. I chewed at my lip a little as I felt the few droplets begin to turn into many.

Each one slid easily down my cheeks like they were slip and slides just waiting for the refreshing salty water to come. I made a small choking sound as the rest of the guilt settled in.

I was done for.

I covered my face pathetically and let myself sob away my frustration just like a _child._ I somehow could never be an adult only a _child. _After what felt like a good two hours of laying there I uncovered my face and worked to wipe away the very last of the tears, allowing my sore eyes a nice rest.

"L-lovi..." I nearly hit my head on the ceiling I jumped so high.

"W-what the hell?! G-get out!" I shouted at Feliciano who had just miraculously appeared in my doorway. "Knock next time stupido!"

"M-Mi dispaice..." He apologized timidly, looking to the side. "I just wanted to... talk..."

I sighed, I couldn't deny him of that considering the awful reaction I had given him before, he was probably just in shock. I had never even bothered to try thinking of it that way.

"Go ahead, talk." His eyes shifted to me nervously, he looked like crying already.

"I-I..." He struggled to find words, his mouth continued to move but no sound was actually coming out. "Lovi..." He broke down.

His eyes suddenly flooded over and he began to sob right there and then. He hadn't even managed to say anything. I groaned when he barreled straight into my chest burying his head in my shirt.

"I'm sorry for yelling earlier..." I apologized slightly hesitantly, not bothering to hug back, holding tightly onto my pride.

"I-its okay..." He choked clawing at my shirt so hard it hurt to some extent.

I allowed him to cry, something I normally didn't do but how could I deny him of it this time? It would be morally wrong, inhuman, ruthless. It suddenly dawned on me that I had been holding my breath, I exhaled. I felt the stems of his bangs brush across my neck as he moved his head to the side to breath. I felt frozen. The bitter taste in my mouth and weight on my chest was completely gone.

Like magic, everything felt fixed.

I knew it wasn't I knew things were only going to go down hill quickly, plummet into a deep abyss of nothing but agony. I feeling I wasn't actually all that distant from but for some reason I felt alright. I didn't actually have the desire to shout, cry, sleep, or even simply move away.

It was a knew feeling but at the same time it felt warm, comforting, _right _it felt horridly _wrong._

My mind twisted uncomfortably, I couldn't comprehend it so I pushed away all those sudden feelings and looked down to the man who was clinging desperately to my chest as if I was life preserver and he was one of the victims of the titanic.

"You can speak you know..." I told him softly trying to to startle him.

"I-I don't know what to say..." He admitted sheepishly looking up for a few seconds, just long enough for me to catch the whites of his eyes.

"I mean... H-he was my best friend," He paused to breathe. "I-Its not like I expected this to happen... h-he never even... t-the only thing that happened that could have hinted m-me was..."

I waited, it took him a few moments to organize his thoughts I assumed.

"T-the day before I left for Paris... h-he said he was too busy when I asked h-him to hang out with me, he slammed t-the door on my face I don't remember e-exactly what he said b-but it was something like 'I'm busy' o-or 'I have to much on my shoulders'... I-I'm not really sure..."

He looked down and bit his lip hard, "I-I just don't understand...I thought we were friends I thought I thought..." He bit down even harder, I saw blood drawing from the spot.

"Calm down, okay?" I tried to keep my voice soft but it was rough, sharp.

"I just... f-fratello I thought he _cared _about me I-I thought that he actually _cared!" _His voice began to rise. "If he actually c-cared he wouldn't do this! Right?! I don't understand! W-why would he pretend to be my friend?! Did he just want to pick out my weaknesses?! Use them against me, torture me use me like a rag doll?!" He was nearly screaming now.

"Stick pins in me like a voodoo doll even though I'm not! Take my brain and squeeze it hard enough for it to burst, take my heart and bake it in his oven for dinner?!" Alright, now he was full out screaming. "Fratello I don't understand! Why?! Why?! Why?!"

He seemed like a toddler, the way he threw his arms about and screeched at me like I had just taken away all of the things he ever possessed. But, I understood. I knew what he was saying. I understood his pain, perfectly. Maybe I understood it in another degree but I understood.

"I don't know why, but I promise everything will be okay, alright?" The words didn't sound like my own they were too soft, too carefully thought through.

"B-but it won't!" Feliciano continued to shout, sob, let go. "I-If I don't have him on my side who is going to protect me?! Who's going to stop him from destroying me?! From ripping _us both _apart?! WHO?!"

I felt anger well in me once against as I barked back at him, "Me, you idiot!"

He rolled his eyes at that, _he rolled his eyes._ He didn't believe me, he didn't believe I could protect us. He thought I was useless, weak. He didn't even consider me competition against his 'oh so _precious' _Germany.

"Do you really believe I won't?!" I snapped, losing my grip on the reality of the situation because I was doubtful myself that I could but I had to at least try, right?

"Fratello, seriously? Your going to fight to _protect me?_" He practically growled the words, it sounded nothing like him anymore. "Since when have you tried to protect anything?! You don't even try!"

I felt the urge to punch him, probably because I knew that was true. I didn't. Why would I? What was there to protect, nothing ever protected me so why should I protect anything else?

I held back all my urges and replied as calmly as possible, "I will help this time."

He seemed to doubt me but he was paying closer attention now.

"Why?" The question baffled me, why...? I wasn't sure myself.

"Because, I just want to okay? Why not?" I tried to find my way around the question, not having a real answer to give him anyways. Finally a real answer came to mind when Feliciano was about to open his mouth.

"This isn't just about you, its about both of us we will both get hurt." It sounded really, really selfish as I spoke the words but I knew it wasn't completely.

Feliciano had nothing to say in reply he just looked down and took a deep breath. "Mi dispaice..." he whispered and I was sure he was crying again. I didn't understand what he was apologizing for, was it for yelling? For not trusting me? For simply not realizing I was involved as well? I just didn't know.

"Even still though..." His voice suddenly came back. "Why...?" I didn't exactly knew what he was asking about now, I would have figured it was about why I was participating but somewhere in my gut I had the feeling the question wasn't really directed to me.

I sat still a few moments, trying to process the conversation as Feliciano huddled up into a ball in what I liked to call as a child his 'Time to cry my heart out' position. He only curled up like that when he was seriously depressed, like he was ready to go jump off a cliff depressed. I felt absolutely awful yet again.

All the anger that once knotted up my stomach settled and evaporated into my heart to form a thundering cloud there, to destroy the last bits of pride I held and send my whole body into a tingling mess.

"Feli..." It felt weird to call him by that name, it was a nickname I rarely used. He lifted his face and when I was the soreness of his eyes and large mess of tears I cringed a little. "...I know it might be a little late for this offer but..." I held out my arms slowly, closing my eyes to stop myself from giving into my pride and taking it back, something I often did.

I sat there awkwardly for what felt like hours before I finally heard him move forward a little and lightly, very lightly settle into my arms. I didn't close my arms like I should have, I just sat there in an awkward sort of twitching motion as he slowly curled into my chest allowing himself to sob again.

He obviously had nothing left to say at this point, the room grew eerily silent the only sounds to fill it were the soft gasps from Feliciano as he struggled to calm himself. My mind began to race over all the previous events in the empty space of nothing.

"Mi dispaice..." I heard the words spoken again, I wasn't sure why he was repeating them but it broke my train of thought leaving my mind blank. He looked up to me and cocked his head to this side, _did he expect a reply?_ I felt confused as to why he was staring at me.

"Really fratello?" He asked in a hoarse voice. My confusion only became more evident at those words, _really what? I said nothing! _It wasn't until a few moments later when I thought back to the words when I realized I had spoken them. Somehow, unconsciously I had.

Those damned little cells in my brain had decided it was the right thing to apologize and sent the words down to my mouth without my permission.

"U-uhm yeah..." I came up with the first thing that came to mind not wanting to put myself in the awkward situation of admitting the words were actually somehow accidentally spoken and sound absolutely insane. It had been the right answer though, his eyes teared back up but he smiled through these ones and clung harder.

"I think... that's the first time you have ever said sorry... for anything." It shocked me but he was right, I was fairly certain I had not apologized before, I had too much pride to apologize. I guess... wait, that wasn't true, I had apologized many times just not to him. It had also been a very long time since I had even felt the need to apologize, since it was mandatory. 

Feliciano nuzzling into my chest snapped me from my train of memories, thank god. He leaned forward and I suddenly heard a weird sniffling noise that sounded less like normal post-sobbing sniffling but instead the sort of 'You smell so good' sniffling. I jumped back slightly.

"W-what are you doing?!" I snapped, pushing him away as my face heated to extremes.

"Well... I just wondered what fratello used for soap because it smells really good..." He fiddled around with his fingers, a little light pink coloring his cheeks.

_Oh god no this isn't happening._ I was tempted to ram my head into the wall next to me when my thoughts went else, somewhere disgusting I never wanted to even briefly bring up with myself again. Somewhere _wrong. Oh fuck, no no no no no._ I screamed at myself mentally.

"I-I mean like in a normal way... n-not like a creepy way okay...?" Feliciano added in a little late. My mind was already racing a thousand places per second and I couldn't stop it. I could tell he felt uncomfortable when I said nothing in return.

"Your not mad are you...?" He asked nervously. _D-damnit he's too cu- NO! _My thoughts only progressed into a deeper hole from there making me wish it was actually possible to erase thoughts. I finally was able to control my mind long enough to reply to the nervous boy in front of me.

"No... I'm not mad..." I replied hesitantly, scraping at my arm slightly when the awful thoughts flooded back over. _I'm seriously sick aren't I...? _That was in fact the right question to ask myself because right then all the thoughts halted, no more, nothing. I almost sighed in relief finally having the imagines away from my disgusting mind.

"Hey fratello..." His voice came back in, bringing my attention back to him.

"Yeah?" I answered as uncaringly as I possible could my pride suddenly flowing back in as if it had gone on a mini vacation to the tropics to wait out the storm at home.

"W-well..." He seemed to struggling greatly with whatever he was going to ask, a silence stuck for a few moments before he finally spoke again.

"F-feel free to say no... b-but.." It was only now I realized he had completely stopped crying.

"W-well its really late and home is a really long d-drive away and-" He cut himself off as he looked up at me flinching away as if I was going to hurt him for even suggesting such things.

"You want to stay the night, here?" I finished his statement rather bluntly.

"O-only if its okay with fratello..." That was a difficult question to answer, did it matter? I doubted I would sleep anyways and if I did I had a tendency to sleep peacefully when he was there but there was always that chance... that chance... the chance I would revert to waking up like that...

I shook my head, it was unlikely and it would be kind of awful to turn him down, _right?_ I still doubted myself though, but I knew by now he would begin to become uncomfortable and start assuming things so I just answered quickly without another thought.

"Sure." I had still waited to long because he seemed shocked by the answer, or maybe that was just normal? I wasn't really sure anymore

"A-are you sure...?" The stutter stuck with him meaning he doubted me, not just a little, a lot. Meaning he believed in the middle of the night he thought he would wake up and find his ear missing and stuck in my mouth because he had asked just the simple question of 'can I stay over?' Maybe it was ridiculous, maybe I was being over-dramatic but, I knew somewhere inside of him he suspected such things.

"Yes, I'm sure." I answered with a very subtle sigh hoping he wouldn't notice it and go into another round of false assumptions.

"...A-alright..." He had noticed, otherwise he would have been more cheerful. _Fuck it all._ I was always the worst at talking to him, that never changed for some reason I struggled so intensely to do even the simplest of things.

"Okay, want to go to bed now?" I offered rather blankly, he just nodded in return feeling the awkwardness of the situation I assumed. I waited a few moments as he shifted off of me to stand, only then did I realize the awkwardness of the position we sat in. As soon as he had stood a slid over on the bed grabbing the blankets from the end of the unmade bed and pulling them slightly up as I waited for him to crawl in.

Yes, we slept in the same bed... I had no guest rooms are what not like I probably should have and most of the time I didn't even have visitors so I was never prepared for those rare nights when Feliciano stayed the night. Sure by that point I probably should have gotten the hint and added a guest bedroom but... okay I have no excuse.

Feliciano crawled into the bed carefully snuggling closer but not too close before turned over just enough to shut the light off, but not until I nodded to tell him he could. He was sometimes too careful about what I thought or felt it could get annoying sometimes.

"Ve~ I'm not really sleepy yet fratello..." He admitted sheepishly, I couldn't see him yet since my eyes hadn't adjusted but I could easily assume he was looking down in embarrassment or just sheer awkwardness, he had a tendency to do that.

It wasn't until I really thought about it that I realized I wasn't really tired either.

"I'm not either but... its-" I also realized then I didn't even know the time, I took the risk of reaching into my pocket and taking out my phone, straining my eyes as the light hit me suddenly.

"4 am..." I mumbled, displeased with all the wasted time I had yet again made for myself.

"O-oh... weird..." He hummed, the answer made no sense but I just struggled.

"I'm uncomfortable can we please take this stupid clothing off..." I whined as I ruffled the blankets over me to get his attention, my eyes adjusted enough for me to see his small nod.

"Get up then." I pushed him a little and he obeyed standing straight up so I could get up as well. When I fumbled my way out the bed I hadn't realized it until I had literally pushed him straight over how close to the bed he was, my vision wasn't fully adjusted okay...?

"... Mi dispaice?" I offered, taking my shirt off almost instantly because of discomfort. I never slept in clothing, well unless I fell asleep on accident. Clothing was extremely uncomfortable t sleep in, both of us agreed on that and I could tell Feliciano proved that fact when he stood back up and instantly threw off his own shirt as well.

We proceeded to strip down until we were both completely nude before climbing back into bed. The blankets were soft and comfortable against my bare skin, another thing I hated about clothing they blocked that feeling.

Feliciano mumbled something inaudible to me.

"What was that?" I half whispered to him, feeling the sudden need in the nearly silent dark room.

"I-I'm still not tired..." He admitted, pulling the blankets up a little higher than necessary as if he were self conscious. I sighed lightly and pulled the blankets on my side up just as high feeling an annoying sense of unbalancedness.

"I'm not exactly either..." I admitted as well, rolling my face slightly to get a little farther into the plush pillow beneath my head.

"But," I added closing my eyes now. "It's late we should sleep."

Feliciano huffed, blowing his bangs I assumed from the gust of air that hit my face. He made a small whiny noise and nudged me. I reopened my eyes.

"What..?" I whispered to him, annoyed.

"I'm not tired, stay up with me?" The way he said it sounded like an order but I knew it was more of a question.

"And do what?" I exhaled, he could be very impulsive sometimes. Feliciano blushed at that, I didn't understand why though.

"Well... I don't know just talk?" He offered staring me down with his soft chestnut eyes. _Lovino don't you dare a-_

"Fine." I internally cursed at myself for once again disobeying my own wants and just following that cord to my psychotic brain.

"Yay~" Feliciano cheered moving forward without hesitation to hug me, I flinched back a little and tried to push him away.

"Oh shush..." I mumbled having enough control over my mind to say what I wanted to. It was a little awkward sitting there in bed, _NAKED_ with your little brother attached to you.

"Get off me please..." It was more of a plead than an order because an order would only send him clinging tighter. He obeyed, all of five minutes later when I was getting ready to dash for it.

"I don't know what to talk to fratello about..." He admitted, rubbing the side of his face for some reason.

"Then lets sleep." I groaned, I actually did feel tired now. Feliciano yawned and confirmed he was as well.

"Ah but... I never get to talk with fratello! It's like turning down the lottery..." He pouted, I felt a little bad but not _that _bad.

"Come on its late, we have the rest of eternity to talk..." I nuzzled a little further into the pillow closing my eyes once more.

"Alright fine..." I could have imagined him sticking his tongue out at me the way he said it but it didn't bother me. I felt the bed shift a little as he got comfortable I assumed and then almost instantly his breath smoothed out and he was fast asleep.

"You little weirdo..." I mumbled to myself getting ready to fall into my own hopefully deep slumber.

I should have just stayed up.

...

...

...

...

"_Romano!" The angry tick of his voice was startling. _

_..._

"_Romano!" He yelled even louder. I cringed a little and came out from the small space._

"_Yes...?" I braced for impact, closing my eyes tightly and biting my lip. I was surprised when I felt nothing though, I reopened my eyes slowly staring up at him in astonishment. _

"_Gilbert and Francis are coming over go make some food for us and don't you fucking mess it up." He growled, leaving me then._

"_Honey would you like some help?" A random maid offered, I shook my head, it would have been a bad idea for the both of us._

_..._

_..._

_..._

"_Wait, what you do you mean your leaving?!" I growled up to the tall man._

"_You can't just leave me and Feliciano here alone, that's not okay!" My voice rose higher, gaining a bite despite my small size._

"_I'm not. Feli is coming with me." He answered coldly._

"_Huh...?" I was confused now, absolutely lost._

"_Feliciano asked that we just go alone, he doesn't want you to come because of your little attitude problem." He grabbed the back of my shirt and picked me up slightly, I struggled._

"_H-he wouldn't say that...!" I countered, but, I doubted myself._

"_Oh, but he did. We will be back in another few years." With that I was dropped back down and he left me, they both left me without even a goodbye._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

"_W-what did I do...?" I asked him quietly._

"_What do you mean fratello?" He titled his head to the side._

"_To make you ha-" I was cut off by the sudden entrance of him._

"_Hello my sweet little boys~" He came close and hugged us 'both', mostly my brother but..._

"_I actually..." he bit his lip, "I have to leave..." He suddenly stated._

"_W-what do you mean?" Feliciano asked through the tears forming in his eyes, I stayed stolid._

"_It's alright Feli, you two are going to go live with Austria until I can come back." Feliciano began to bawl clinging tightly and expressing how badly he wanted him to stay. I just stood there unchanging, leaving sounded..._

_good..._

**There you go guys~ Confused? **

**Well I'll just tell you one quick thing about what just happened, Lovino was dreaming and that's all you get to know~**

**Anywayyss I have no power xD so I figured it was a good time to just sit down and write and it was because I finished!**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this sort of short chapter and guess what?! IT'S ON TIME!**

**sdkfmdkgnfdg amazing~**

**I hope to have the next chapter up by the end of November so anytime in there you can start expecting it~**

**Gomen, this is a "To be edited later" status.  
**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Drop a review~? (( If you do today's prize is... a... uhhh imaginary baby shark~! ))**

**ps. I'm starting a new fanfic sometime soon so get ready for that~~  
-Mina**


	7. -Feels badly-

Hello! ouo;; -hides-

First off please don't murder me ;n; I know I fail at life -bows down to all of you-

I have to give my deepest apologies I have not forgotten this story I am in fact still working on the next chapter even despite it being MONTHS late, I am SOOOO sorry you have no idea Dx I feel so awful!

I feel like I need to explain myself to you guys so you know I wasn't just blowing you all off fgdfkgjdfg I feel like a mother who abandoned her children kdgjndfg anywaysssss

Basically _**a lot**_ has been happening in my life. I can't really explain most of it for personal reasons but my mother and brothers both moved out and from there things became very very hectic I've lost a lot of things in the last few months and just haven't been in a stable enough mood to write :( sdkjgg Life sucks sometimes, you know?

Also I swear to god creative writing sucked my soul out(!), it honestly made writing feel like a chore rather than a fun hobby so- I quit. And now I'm feeling so much better about writing; to warm up I started a new story last week and I've found my muse again c':

So please believe me when I say things are going to get better now.

Also to any of you how are now disappointed with me because you thought this was a new chapter, do not fret. Next week for five days I will have absolutely NOTHING to do because of some testing for seizures I will be going through so I plan to take that time to write meaning I can almost guarantee an actual update by then :) (Disclaimer: If I don't have one by then I just ask that you don't stab me in my sleep...)

So please don't hate me~ I'm so terribly sorry!

Thank you for reading this all of you who did ;u; -insert heart because FF is a meaner-

-Mina (Also to express how sorry I am have a panda -gives all of you a panda-)


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